Battling Demons: Heartbreaking Truth About Suicide Amongst Men
I knew Tunde from afar, so I know very little of his story. Unfortunately I couldn't help him because I thought he was fine until he was gone.
May his soul rest in peace, I hope.
Tunde was probably one of the few guys in my street that hardly gets into trouble. He talks and spends time with guys on the street, but he's always mindful of his actions. We used to call him "Tunde Tunero".
Here is an account of Tunde's story gathered from numerous witnesses.
In his one room apartment, Tunde sat alone with possibly the weight of his entire world on his shoulder. He was a man in his prime, with dreams, ambitions, and a heart full of hopes unlike other guys in the hood. But as the shadows deepened around him, it was the demons within that he couldn't escape.
Tunde's story is a reflection of an alarming truth that plagues our society – the silent epidemic of suicide amongst men. As a real life experience shrouded in sorrow, Tunde's story is the darkness that men face and the heartbreaking reality that often remains hidden. Tunde lost it!
The journey into Tunde's despair began with a relentless pressure to conform to the expectations of masculinity. Our society had taught him to be strong, unyielding, and uncomplaining, afterall, a man must never be weak! He wore the mask of a strong man, concealing the emotional damage brewing within.
As life's challenges mounted, Tunde got trapped in a puzzle of despair. He carried the burdens of financial struggles, messed up relationships, and an unspoken fear of failure. He was 32 and probably felt he was a failure for not being able to make ends meet and live a good life. Each day was a battle between the facade he presented to the world and the torment he experienced in secret. I really wish I knew he was going through all this while, i would have come through for him as a brother who has had a similar experience but survived.
The breaking point came when Tunde faced a major setback in his career. He was relieved of his job, his girlfriend of 2 years dumped him for his landlord in the same house. HABA! The shame, betrayal and guilt he felt were unbearable. He believed that he had failed not only himself but also his ability to ever be a MAN. The isolation became overwhelming, and he withdrew from friends and loved ones.
The night he chose to end his life was a night like any other, we were all in our houses spending time with our family, infact; that night, I was having a conversation with my wife on the need to invite him over for Sunday lunch because he was always nice to my kids and respected my wife so much. Unfortunately, for Tunde, it was a night of unbearable pain. He left no note, no explanation, nothing! Only a void that once held a man's dreams, laughter, and presence.
Tunde committed SUICIDE!
He hung himself!
God!
The entire street was in turmoil, like a dream to many of us.
The least I could do was to gather information from many people who knew him well while he was alive. I wish they had helped or atleast raised an alarm of his state of mental health. This is an eye opener to me and hopefully many of you.
Tunde's tragic story confirms the urgency of addressing the issue of male suicide. The societal expectations of strength and stoicism (Enduring pain without complaining) can be a deadly trap for Struggling men. The pain they carry in silence, the battles they fight alone, and the lives they leave behind are stark reminders of the need for open conversations and support. Men need help!
Battling demons isn't a choice; it's a fight that too many men face in silence. Suicide is a demon, you can't tell me otherwise!
This is a fight we must acknowledge, discuss, and address with compassion and empathy. Tunde's story is an urgent call to action for me, i will ensure no man around me ever has to suffer in silence.
To all readers, This is a reminder that men's mental health matters.
My name is Alphonsus Gideon, I wish I had gotten closer to Tunde Tunero.
We at FriendnPal are interested in the mental health of everyone and would love to see every man become a better person.
