Brock Osweiler: The 72-Million-Dollar Man.

@millerlite40 — Von Miller’s Instagram

Do you feel like your job isn’t paying you enough? Here’s a tip for getting a raise at work: work for a week, be fired, then tell your next job that you’re good for a raise of something reasonable, something like 72-million freakin’ dollars.

Now, I know that may seem unlikely, but look at what’s happening in the NFL today. Due to, what can only be described as a drought, at the quarterback position, guys like Brock Osweiler can get paid in full for a weak audition (could be a typo there, I’ll just leave it). Osweiler played 7-games last year finishing at 5–2 until the Denver Broncos decided to put a real quarterback in.

Brock Osweiler: 6'7", 240 lbs, from Arizona St, drafted 57th overall in the 2012 draft to the Denver Broncos is now getting paid more than those other jabronis at quarterback like Tom Brady, Andrew Luck and Carson Palmer. You know, those guys who have proven themselves as top tier quarterbacks? Yeah, he can give them the Johnny Football fingers.

What’s crazy is that it wouldn’t be such a big deal if it happened to any other starter in the league. The guy who cried because some guy named Peyton Manning took his starting spot back is now guaranteed $37-million at about $18-million a year including a $12-million signing bonus. Osweiler’s last contract with the Broncos was a 4-year, $3.5-million entry-level contract with about $1.9-million guaranteed. So you asking for a 50-cent increase at work should be a piece of cake considering you’ve been flipping the same burgers since ’09.

Now was he worth the paycheck? It’s debatable. What’s nice is that the Peyton wanna-be is (1) young (2) had the benefit of watching a first-ballot Hall of Famer (3) had a small glimpse of promise in the second half of last season and most importantly (4) probably the only thing out there that isn’t named Kaepernick or RGIII.

Ponder these ideas for a second. Last season, The 9–7 Houston Texans had four quarterbacks play for them last year. The leader of the crew, Brian Hoyer, who posted a 59.59 quarterback rating, which is kind of like having the smartest kid in class be the smartest because he’s the one who knows the class is in room 8.

Granted, they finished 1st in that super duper competitive AFC South Division who’s only chance in staying relevant was if Andrew Luck’s beard stayed nice and fluffy. It would seem the Texans are screaming for something to change in their game. Therefore, moves had been made.

Moves consisted of dropping their only consistent offensive player, Arian Foster but picking up breakout running back, Lamar Miller from Miami, which now gives them a pretty deep crew with Alfred Blue and Akeem Hunt in their backfield.

So you have some promise to run the ball, but do you have weapons for good ol’ B.O?

Deandre Hopkins. This silver lining led the team with 192 targets, next was 32-year-old Nate Washington with 94 targets. A bit one-sided, which means he’s the only person on the wings that carried any faith. Now, he’s a pretty big weapon but one cannot carry a team with just one receiver (as proven with Megatron, may his career rest in peace). There’s potential Houston but the numbers don’t add up just yet.

Here’s the one elephant in the room. Why didn’t Denver re-sign him? Sheriff Manning retired in all his glory and the quarterback-less Broncos still decide to let Ozzy Oz go? There’s a reason why Brock didn’t have multiple offers on the table. Reasons could be caused by the way he handled himself in week 17 after being benched in the middle of the game. No one likes a whiner.

Dude, Brock my man, I know you feel like you led this team to the playoffs, but we all know who did… their defense. So if Peyton Manning wants to come in, you let that master strategist come in. And you stay quiet on your spot on the bench.

Everyone knew it was only a matter of time before Manning came back in. If you couldn’t handle that until his inevitable retirement, then it looks like you have to go. Elway tried to open the negotiations with a 4-year, $39-million contract, but that was soon followed by the fat offer of Houston, and now we’re looking to see if the move was worth anything.

Houston, you might have a legitimate team brewing. You now have a quarterback that you’ve blatantly shown faith in, a running back crew that you can rely on and that defense led by the head of the monSTARs J.J. Watt. But it’s weird, I still think that it’s still a pipe dream to think that Houston will have a championship anytime soon. Your best bet is to trade Dwight Howard and hope that the James Harden breaks up with that Kardashian, wait, wrong Houston problem. I meant to say just finally beat the Kansas City Royals in a Division series, wait, wrong Houston problem again.

Damn, Houston, we have a problem.

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