In Retrospect, This Is EXACTLY What A Pedophile Looks Like.

Are you big enough to admit that you were wrong? Something that could be easier to do on a small scale, but is significantly harder to on a larger in scope, more demonstrably proven to be a child predator context? I understand that this spectrum is entirely hypothetical and, let’s face it, downright absurd, but I ask you to suspend your disbelief for one child rapey-second and stick with me here: Could (He was) Micheal Jackson (Pioneer in popularizing the moonwalk as well physically being inside an adolescent human being) Have Actually (Disclaimer: This post IS NOT speculation. HE DONE DID THAT SHIT!) Molested Kids? (The fact that this is even being phrased as a question is an EGREGIOUS dereliction in pseudo-blogger ethics and for that, I apologize.)

I understand that most people have already contended with the fact that the man who had us singing Billie Jean and squeezing our balls hard enough to both emulate his dance moves and deprive the earth of an entire generation of children due to the repeated crushing of our little nuggets (RIP working testicles) might not be the bright and shiny example of systemic racism and/or extortion like we’d HOPED he’d been.

When white people have to pray someone they idolized is being maligned through centuries long oppression or just plain opportunism, it’s a day to remember. Black people just think of O.J., get quiet, and stare off into the distance.

It turns out he was just another underwear sniffing weirdo who was jerking off to ASPCA commercials that just so happens to have revolutionized music. The thing with America is that we put so much emphasis on that “just so happens” that it obfuscates just who this shady somoma bitch really is. And this is FAR from the first time. It just happens to be the most biting for Black America.

I can’t personally relate because I’m not a football fan and, to be honest, the whole thing strikes me as both too aggressively masculine AND too aggressively homoerotic too reside in the same space, but even I know that football is revered. Almost to the point where you have to wonder if there’s some sub-section in the Bible that explicitly endorsed quarterback sneaks or whatever prophet/alpaca haystack fuck session that gave birth to Tim Tebow’s ancestors. The point is, it is almost a religion onto itself and has definitely been protected like one. For this example, we’re just going to drive past “Lenient Sentences For NFL Players Who Commit Violent Crimes” Blvd, scooch on past.”Criminal Neglect In Regards To Providing Adequate Safety And Care For The Men Whose Hard Work Earns CEO’s BILLIONS with a capital BILLIONS” Ave, and parallel park right on “Jerry Sandusky Raped A Bunch Of Kids For Decades With Penn State Actively Enabling HIs Crimes.” Parkway.

It’s very scenic. Lots of parking space. Smells like dog shit and criminal endangerment, though.

We had irrefutable evidence that Jerry Sandusky abused his position of authority of young boys more times than you can shake a pair of withered balls at. However, contrary to the legal obligation of the law and the moral obligation of being a human being with a functioning heart, Pennsylvania State not only gave him a safe space to continue his despicable extracurriculars but even went so far as to threaten victims that wanted to speak out. On a scale from one to whatever the fuck is going on inside Tila Tequila’s head, how crazy is that? The short answer is “Very!”, but the follow-up forces us to acknowledge the ardent and devoted support Jerry Sandusky and Joe Paterno has amongst sports fans. Undying allegiance to a known child predator because they “just so happened” to win the school several shining trophies that should not rank when compared to the violation of even ONE child. He’s still spoken of in hushed whispers of admiration like some exiled leader. Like some hook-dicked, kidz-bop-lovin-for-all-the-wrong-reasons Napoleon.

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Except when it’s Jerry Sandusky. Go ahead dropkick a hole in his motherfucking chest”-Napoleon Bonaparte

I mention Jerry Sandusky to draw a correlation to Micheal Jackson because if you think Jerry Sandusky was adored, then Micheal Jackson was a virtual god amongst men. Especially in the 80’s when the driving force behind most people’s decisions was cocaine and Mary Janes. I can’t even accurately relay to you how much he meant to black people who saw someone who looked like them, carried so much of their culture on his shoulders, completely dominate the world like he did. He was so indomitable of an entertainer and public figure that we often forgot just how vulnerable and human he was. Then the rumors, the trials, more rumors, another trial, then he died.

How sad:(

And now this: The revelation that he had a porn collection that I’m sure must’ve been a collaborational effort between Satan, John Wayne Gacy, and the dude at Chipotle that cut ahead of you in line that one time. What’s chilling is that most people aren’t really surprised at this point. It just seems like the final nail on the coffin. Or at least the final bit of incentive you needed to retire Off The Wall from your Apple Music playlist.

Originally published at