I want to start you off here by clearing a few things up, being considerate of your loved ones feelings is important but it shouldn’t be the primary driver in the way you feel about yourself.

Il explain, self worth by definition needs to come from the inside. Can you look in the mirror in the morning and be okay with who you are? The anwser should be yes but sadly its not always possible.

As a people we have created situations where we rely on others to make us feel important. People say things like ‘my wife gives me…

A dark sentence that is honestly hard for me to write. But 17 years on I am okay, I can reflect on what happened and why it was so good for me.

Photo by Marius Ciutacu on Unsplash

I was 11 years old, I came downstairs really early to watch cartoons on a Sunday morning. My ‘biological' father was asleep on the couch after a night of heavy drinking. I sat ignorant to my snoring father for a few hours as if in a TV induced meditation, this scenario was not uncommon. Until that stillness was broken by some sounds I can only describe as small sneezes came spewing out of the beast on the couch. Which were shortly followed by bubbles of spit.

Somewhere between me shouting to the rest of the family and the paramedics arriving…

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Ahhh I have already lied to you, I am still depressed. But things got better and as you read this it is more like 120 pounds.

I, like a worryingly amount of people my age (28) was severely depressed as a teenager and as a result literally ate everything. To this day I still find myself eating when I am sad. But I got better at this.

These two things unsurprisingly are linked, but probably not in the way you think. Being fat didn't make me depressed, actually, I was pretty content with my body for the most part. But…

Photo by Ravi Roshan on Unsplash

My hero is a spirit, my hero is more than she will ever know.

I met this stranger where bad food is prepared. The king of fried delicacies we earned our way. Broken already I cast a shell of distance, aloofness was a badly constructed defence against happiness, but a successful one till now.

Like an unrelenting juggernaut, she didn't care. She didn't wait a minute to see what love I had to give. Without judgement, she forced my hand. I was told our next move. A movie about a child wizard was the backdrop to the most important cuddle…

Creative Cafe Prompt

“The best revenge, like the best sex, is performed slowly, and with the eyes open.”

― Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram

Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash

Life can just be so unfair sometimes!

Bitch! Look at her with her porcelain skin, immaculate complexion! Is she even real? If I didn’t have to drive 40 minutes to get here I’d have the time to tart myself up like that harlett. And how does she afford these clothes, until yesterday she made the same as me! I didn't realize red bottoms came in ‘Hoe’!

I am starting to understand why she got the promotion, the board wants to…

If only we could meet a career in a bar for a couple of drinks then ghost the shit out of them when the boss turned out to be a vindictive prick.

2018 Calander by Mr Bingo

Now I would like to clarify that since the tender age of 18 I have been completely monogamous with my partner, now wife. I can not say the same about jobs… Turns out I am a bit of a career whore but I am starting to think that might not be a bad thing.

I remember while I was on the market for my current job I had…

Photo by Holger Link on Unsplash

A stream of grey passes across my vision, broken with strange figures, not people, I’m not sure. We are driving somewhere. I didn’t start at the beginning, well at least I can’t remember doing so. I recognize some of the buildings flying by but not the atmosphere. Something in the place had changed. A metropolis mutating from the small places I recognize like overgrown weeds or maybe limbs. Strange appendages sprouting from the heads of buildings that loosely resemble more buildings. Skinny buildings, un-livable buildings.

I become aware I am alone here, apart from the driver, it's a school bus…

Barcelona (shot on 35mm) By Me

It was a Thursday morning on the main beach in Barcelona. Browned by the sun I sit corrupt with indigestion from cheap lager, figuring out how I implement all of the insight the trip had granted me. Dramatic in hindsight but I knew I would never be the same again.

I am a firm believer that the person I become is mostly dictated by the things I experience and my conscious decisions to change have much less effect than the experience’s I choose to be part of. …

Photo by Aleks Dahlberg on Unsplash

I am cold in a way I understand, in a way that comforts me. My toes separate as I sink into the sand. I know this is a dream but I chose to lie to myself anyway.

The sky is dark but a horizontal light weaves between the scattered crowd like gunfire. The light makes me aware I am not alone now. These people feel close but I am sure I don’t know them, they are here for the same reason.

Somehow I know what happens next like this was planned, I don’t remember getting here. …

An (un)popular opinion. Contains NSFW images.

Can we change the message?

Photo by Perfect Snacks on Unsplash

I write this, fully understanding there will be some strong disagreement. But this is one of those lingering ideas that we need to kill off.

For starters being ‘sexy' or not shouldn’t really play into a person’s self-esteem these days, self-worth has so much more about it. Being successful and having chiseled features or firm buttocks shouldn’t be thought of as mutually exclusive and for the most part, they are not. People have gotten better at understanding what’s important in general. But annoyingly this idea still floats about.

Then why won’t this die?

I think it’s rooted in the idea…

Shay Mcgreal

The musings of a silly Millennial. Mostly factual with a little bit of fiction sprinkled in for good measure. http://shaymcgreal.life/

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