Bobinski Goes to Wendy’s, Orders Pastner

Exactly two weeks after Georgia Tech Athletic Director Mike Bobinski announced the firing of Brian Francis Gregory, he announced the hire of Joshua Paul Pastner.

Listen, plenty of articles have been written laying out the pros and cons of hiring Pastner — and this isn’t one of them. Instead, it’s an explanation of how we at Georgia Tech Hot Takes feel about the situation using a simple, yet all-too-familiar example.

When you’re hungry, but only have a $5 bill in your pocket, do you drive to Buckhead and order a steak at Hal’s? No. Why not? Because it’s so expensive that they don’t even put the prices on the menu. When you’re looking to fill an empty stomach, and you only have $5 in your pocket, where do you go?

You go to Wendy’s. You order their 4 for $4 deal, and you eat fries, chicken nuggets, a burger, and down a nice Co-coler until you feel like you’re going to puke, but dammit you’re not hungry anymore.

It’s not as good as the steak, but it gets the job done for the time being, and you can afford it.

That’s what Bobinski did in hiring Pastner. He had an empty stomach, realized he only had $5 in his pocket, and tried to find the best bang for his buck. He went to Hal’s (Jeff Capel) and they turned him away as soon as he walked in. He went to Outback (Bryce Drew), and realized all he could afford was about half a bloomin’ onion. He went to Longhorn (Cuonzo Martin), and found out they were doing just fine without him.

Finally, after two weeks of frantically searching for something resembling a decent meal, he came across Wendy’s. They took his $5, and they gave him a wildly inferior product to the restaurants he visited before, but at least now he has food in his belly.

Josh Pastner, by all accounts from his time at Memphis, is not a very good coach. He’s decent at a few things, like getting talented guys in the door, making the Big Dance, and pissing a lot of people off in the process — but compared to the other coaches rumored for the Tech hoops gig, it’s like ordering a New York Strip and getting a McDonald’s kid’s meal put on your table.

Bobinski didn’t have a choice. We’re paying three head basketball coaches through 2018, and another year of Hewitt after that. Six years of an actual head coach, who actually head coaches the team, for $9 million total, in the ACC? That’s a steal these days. That’s an absolute steal, financially speaking. Get your affairs in order, move toward a clean slate, and it’ll only cost $14 million total over 6 years — that’s not bad by today’s standards.

Would you rather have a steak from Hal’s than a 4 for $4 deal from Wendy’s? You’d be insane to say no. Sometimes you just don’t have the money for it — but you’ve got to eat. That’s what Wendy’s is for.

Josh Pastner could end up becoming the greatest bargain coach in ACC history. More likely, he could also end up being the third in a line of utterly disappointing basketball coaches at Georgia Tech after the departure of Bobby Cremins from the sideline. All we really know is this: he’s not the best, but at least we’ve got something, and we didn’t pay very much for it.

Also, the guy looks just like Brooks Doyle. I never thought I’d miss those days…

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