Don’t look when she moves. Illustration/Animation by Gabriel Esu

Please don’t look

A Story of a very stupid boy and his equally stupid Security Man

Gabriel Esu
Jul 30, 2017 · 2 min read

Here I am on the floor being beaten black and blue. My own Security Man is giving me the blows of my life. He is beating me like I am the Security man of his own house. I shouldnt have….oh my God he just punched my left brain! AAAAHHHHH!

I know your’e probably wondering how this happened, well it all started thirty minutes ago.

I just got to my house and found out my sister had been sitting on the floor just outside the door waiting for me. She gets up from where she was sitting and starts walking towards the house door so I could come open it. As she was waking I saw Bello (Security Man) looking at my sister.

I was boiling, vexed, angry, in-short I was going to kill him. I can’t believe I caught him. I mean how could he? After everything I had done for him, the nerve.

I caught him looking at my sister’s bum. Yes…..her yansh, her booty, her bum bum, her….her…batakum. I walked up to him like the “Super Brother” I was and gave him a dirty slap, and another one, and another one. Yeah! that felt good I was feeling like a real Oga. I started yelling at him but he kept saying “Oga! I can explain” I shouted “Shutuppp! Explain What?”

I then proceed to tell Bello that he is the Security Man and that his job is to secure both material and human property — including my sister’s yansh. I tell him that he has the right to beat up anybody that he catches looking at my sister’s booty…I mean absolutely anybody. He replied with a very obedient “Yes Sir!”

I started walking back towards the house hoping my sister saw me defend her yansh from the eyes of the enemy. Oh My! What is that on my sister’s yansh, it must be the dust from the floor she was sitting on, or maybe…

Kpa! Oh my God what hit me on my back?…Kpo! Ahn! Who is this idiot that is…Kpa! Oh my God! It was Bello hitting me….shit! I had looked at my sister’s yansh. “But Bello, I can Explain…” Kpah!

Please come and visit me in the hospital. Fin.

yansh: bum, booty, ass | Oga: Master, Massa, Boss | Kpah, Kpah, Kpo: Sounds of an ass whooping

Gabriel Esu

Written by

Hi, I’m a Product and Motion Designer from Nigeria currently living in Leeds. I like to tell very very short stories.

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