Say Hi
So, this is a pretty simple story. The story is about a guy, who sees a girl, in the middle of a party.
That guy is me. The girl, well, I guess I’ll never know her name.
See, I was sitting in the corner of a party with some friends of mine when suddenly, this girl had emerged in the corner of my eye. I gulped. She was absolutely stunning. I remember how my heart began pounding. She was really just a few feet away, but it felt like so much further.
I just stared at this girl, ready to go talk to her. But right before I leapt off my seat, I stopped.
Wait, you gotta think of a line.
So that’s when I began envisioning different scenarios with different lines followed by her response. I actually came up with some pretty cool stuff, but nothing felt good enough.
Before I knew it, I had been sitting there for over five minutes, fixated on this girl who was having a much better time than I was.
And there I was, desperately struggling to come up with the perfect thing to say.
At a certain point, I found myself coming up with whole narratives, entire love stories, going much further than just a few sentences.
It was almost enough.
And then she left.
My heart wasn’t pounding anymore. I took my first deep breath. I sat there, depressed, unspeakably disappointed with myself.
The night didn’t end a total disaster. Later on, I met this really cool guy with whom I made an amazing connection. We spoke for hours on end, and each made a good friend.
Walking home, with a new friend, I recalled earlier that night. Disappointment arose again, but this time for a different reason. It wasn’t because I didn’t go speak to her. That didn’t disappoint me this time. Rather, what I found so disappointing was the realization that I was so fixated on what I was going to say to her. I was so attached to going to speak with her — so attached to the outcome. So dependent on the hope that I would go to her, say a line that she loved, and she would smile and love me back.
And I realized that this idea applies to so many other areas of life. So often, when confronted with new situations or opportunities, we hesitate. We hope. We fabricate a benchmark.
And we paralyze ourselves.
“Where there is hope, there is fear.” — Seneca
I was so hopeful that I’d make her night, and so fearful that I wouldn’t. So I froze. I was practically paralyzed.
This is in total contrast to the conversation I had with the guy later that night, which reminded me that some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve ever had began with four simple words.
“Hi, how are you?”
I knew exactly what to say to her. We often do. We usually know what to do. How to start. We’re just afraid. Afraid we won’t be good enough. But, actually, the solution is so simple.
“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most meaningful experiences and incredible feats often have very humble beginnings. We don’t always have to start with a bang like in the movies. Part of being authentic and successful is being content with not always bedazzling others or appearing to be special. And honestly, this is so rare nowadays, that that alone is special in my eyes.
This story was part of my Story of Self assignment in Diplomacy class.
Thanks for reading!
