the light

I’ve been disconnected from the light lately.

I used to be invigorated by every day shapes; I felt pleasure by the potential of a frame. I walked and walked for the sake of repetition, for the hope of seeing new.

I don’t know if the light faded or burned out with a pop. I do know, somehow, hours at a computer screen and scrolling on my iPhone have dulled my sight. All of the comparisons, the side by side-ness of social media; maybe there’s too much beauty. I’ve been heavy with it.

I’ve developed a different skin, layers baking slowly in the sun. An overabundance of color, a dearth of experience. Maybe I could pick up everything and run. I know how it feels to run as fast as I can. I’ll speed into a wall and break my shell into hundreds of pieces.

I’m fantasizing, distracted by the lump in my throat. I know it doesn’t end with a shattering mess.

It begins with a crack, a shift to let in the light.