Yes, women are harassed in video games.
Just because things don’t happen to you doesn’t mean they don’t happen.
People are murdered, but look you’re okay! Some people may not have clean water, but maybe you do! I think it’s wonderful when people live lives with excellent experiences and happiness.
In video games, many many people are harassed for various reasons. People are harassed for race, for age, or even for no reason at all. One does have to recognize though, as a gamer, that certain demographics of people are more at risk for this. I’ve played many games where players with obviously younger sounding voices are harassed for being “squeakers” and made to feel unwelcome. I have heard so many racial slurs over my time that they have blended together. And many days, I have faced gender slurs because I am a woman.
Before people bitch that I advertise myself as such (which in the end doesn’t really matter), I don’t. If by opening my microphone in team-based games is opening myself to harassment based solely on the fact that I’m a woman, problems are bigger than we imagine. I get that people trash talk. I trash talk jokingly sometimes, and maybe sometimes I’m misconstrued and I’m sorry if I am, but this isn’t just game trash talk. This is focused around my gender and I’m just tired of it. So, I sought out communities where I’d feel understood and supported.
I read a post on reddit today hating on the subreddit /r/girlgamers. People were annoyed that feminism played a big role in the subreddit. People were pissed off that many posts were complaining about being harassed in games. A few users got into a discussion of how they are rarely harassed in games:
“ I don’t really know where all these girls got their abuse. The only times I’ve ever gotten attention for being a girl has been a few half-joking “OMG A GRIL” comments. Once, I lost a match in OW and one of my teammates immediately went to zone chat and said “girls should stay in the kitchen.” But that’s the worse I’ve ever seen.”
“ That’s probably what they’re complaining about, too. Some asshole a year ago told them to stay in the kitchen and now they claim all female gamers are oppressed by everyone else.”
That’s AWESOME. I’m so glad people haven’t been harassed in games, I truly am. That’s a sign that people have found communities that are welcoming and have a great group of friends to play with. I applaud this and hope they share these communities. It’s also safe to say though that just because it didn’t happen to them, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to other people. Instead of tearing down the experiences of others, we should support them or help them find better communities.
One comment really stuck out to me though:
“ Tbf, men get this virtually every time they play”.
And many of them do. I think it’s safe to say that many gamers are harassed and it’s an issue that we all should face together. But stating hatred for r/GirlGamers for not discussing this is just straight up not correct. It’s a place for women to discuss problems and joys they face in gaming, so it’s safe to say that most discussions will revolve around what happens to women. You can’t fault a community that has a specific purpose for following that specific purpose. Reddit is a magical place where you don’t have to read subreddits you don’t want to. If you don’t agree with their ideas, don’t sub. Simple as that.
The real conclusion we all need to get is that harassment sucks for anyone and we need to fix it. Something that pulls us back from this progress is denying that it happens to others, questioning their experiences, or assuming they did something to deserve it.
