It’s Not Only Mental Illness

It’s not made up, it’s not crazy, it’s true. It’s Depression. Many symptoms, many reasons, and yet, so much Hate. People call the depressed wimps, crybabies, and worse. Yet, we have feelings, too, and you’re only making it worse. From Everyminute.org, “Each year, 1,600 American teenagers die by suicide, 1,000,000 attempt it, and 1 out of 5 consider it.

You can’t solve it by saying, “Look at the positive. Be the optimist.”. This is because as I well know as a victim of Depression, there is no positives to be seen by the naked eye. There is nothing to be an optimist about. The only option is being a pessimist. My story is simple, but just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I started good, fun, and cheery. Once my actual personality formed, it formed with me having a bad temper, being sensitive, but I loved putting smiles on others’ faces. So much, I became a weirdo. Now, it’s important to mention, I was born with my right ear messed up so I can’t hear through it, thus making me a bit in-accurate on sound volume. My classmates took all this to their advantage. They first made me angry, then they would raise their voice. I would think them as yelling, thus yelling back, but really this is not known by me. Soon enough I’d either be crying in the hall just for the sake so I don’t melt from how heated I became, or in the office super silent, about to burst. This started to fade from my worries, and then one day, I realized what people have been doing for so long. Judging. Gossiping. Something just told me. I remembered my temper and sensitivity. Everything melted. I became addicted to mini pretzels and my IPad, watching gaming YouTube all day stuffing pretzels down my throat. Then it became worse. I found myself on the IPad at 1:00 am. I then found myself staring at knives. At edges of bridges. And now here I am, letting out all my tears as I sleep.

Whatever your story is, feel free to inform, and ask for help. I deal with my depression by hiding it behind my IPad, but it isn’t working, but it’s the only thing that can actually make me happy, but I’m only completely and I mean COMPLETELY happy when I sleep. Please help me, please help others. Open your eyes, see this cruel world because guess what, it’s not any of our’s fault. And it’s the only thing we can successfully live on.