I need to Write more
This past summer, I told myself that I would write for an hour a day. That, and many other goals that I set for myself in my final summer before taking on the big wide world of college.
But I didn’t.
And to be honest, I couldn’t tell you why. And I still can’t. I can’t tell you why I didn’t go to the gym every day, or stay dedicate to eating well, or do anything that I set forward for myself.
And no matter how many times I woke up on Monday mornings and told myself this week it would be different, that today would be the day that I would finally unlock my potential, and accomplish what I had told myself I would, I didn’t change.
I was still unmotivated,
and I was still unhappy.
I don’t know why I still am, but that’s just the way my life is. I’m unhappy. And I’m fully accepting of the fact that I’m unhappy. I’ve come to terms with the fact that that’s just the way my life is gonna be for the time being. Until I resolve my inner conflict, and slay the demons in my head, I will be unhappy. Life is a two way street. You take the good with the bad, and roll with punches. My Dad always told me to let some things roll off my back. And while I’d like to think that I let most things slide, there are somethings that I can’t let go of.
So I’m gonna roll with it.
I’ll dip and dodge, move my head, and throw punches back. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to get hit however. This past week is a perfect example of that (Rest in Peace Phil and Tilly, I’m gonna miss you guys dearly). But for every knockdown, I must stand up. Because I need to. My future was set out for me, and I’m going to make damn sure that I find the end of the road that I started.
So this is the beginning. Truly, the beginning of my road to self betterment. Expect more from me, hopefully everyday.
I’m doing this for myself.
And for her.