Living in the moment, loving your friends (and watching a few films..)
There’s so much to learn from the world around us. Every single person, every single incident, every single film. If we look well enough.
I watch a lot of them, and I love reliving them in my head as I walk back home. I enjoy a film a lot more if I am able to pick up relatable incidents from my own life and make myself believe in the story being told. It’s mind boggling how films shape our cultural and emotional sub-conscious in ways we don’t realise.
When people try to tell a good story, they’re basing it on their real life experiences — trying to build up on something they’ve been through, learnt lessons from.
Did Jai really have to be shown a reality where things go wrong for him to realise what is valuable? Did Albus Severus really have to go back in time and do the things he did?
We are less grateful than we need to be, less mindful of the goodness we all have in our lives now, at this moment. This flow of thought struck me several times when I drifted away in space, had to stay away from home for four long years.
One director whose movies are quite amazing for how realistic and relevant they are is Gautham Vasudev Menon. Surya S/O Krishnan, and Ye Maya Chesave, are simple close-to-life accounts, and probably some of the best stories told in south indian films.
Not only have they inspired me, but have also made me look at life from a fresh perspective, with a necessity to have two things: good friends, and lots of love.
I watched Baar Baar Dekho with some of my best friends. People who’ve been with me from when I knew nothing, way back in school. We’ve drifted away to colleges far far away, but we’ve come back to be together in Hyderabad and have the fortune of spending so much time every week.
After watching it (and also cribbing partially about how it could have been better), I went back thinking about how relevant and sensible the theme of the film was. Not just to me, but every person I talk to everyday, my parents, all my friends, and my multiple internal selves.
After the first few minutes of the film, when the characters grow up with ‘Kho Gaye Hum Kahan’ playing, I felt I was watching a film that reminded me of a classic like Barfi!. It digresses with too many songs and poorly acted scenes in between, but the story was too powerful and relevant to be ignored.
The last year has been quite difficult for me. Much like Jai in the film, thoughts that run in my head have been so much around what the future holds, or what’s the next best thing to do, and heavy self-doubt on relationships and career choices. I broke up because I wanted to focus on work, and I didn’t want to work for too long because I wanted to do something else.
Did I do better at work after the break up? Nope.
Am I doing better after leaving the job? I guess so. I’m trying to do things I actually love.
Microsoft was a great place to work for. It was a pure privilege to be part of that place, and it’s been one of the highlights of my life so far. But I felt I needed to experiment and learn so much more, focus on things I’m passionate about, and I hope I’m doing justice to the decision.
Time will tell me if these were right choices or not, and I might not care too, but at the moment, I want to take in as much effort, love and goodness into my life than I ever have. Not just because we need to treat our lives with more freedom, less pressure, intense love and minimal stress, but also because we think too much. About every thing. I do, and I’m sure you do too.
Once my thoughts started drifting towards the ideal visions of the future, they begin to expect too much of me. There’s this constant pressure of performance, and an overpowering self-criticism that clouds basic necessities like staying in the moment and being happy. You and I, all go through this struggle sometime or the other.
What happens in Baar Baar Dekho is slightly different: His priorities vary, and the time-travel (or the champagne-induced dream) makes him realise what is really important in life. The true value of people is something we undermine, maybe because we see them everyday. I won’t be exaggerating if I say that the simple things shown in the movie can subconsciously make people better fathers and husbands, if they were really sensitive to the character. I surely will try to be, when I grow up.
Chester sings in a famous Linkin Park song: “You Don’t Know What You’ve Got, Until It’s Gone!” Sometimes life can bring up depressing situations, and an extremity of happiness all at once, but going through it is exciting, as long as I can curb the pressure of being that Perfect Someone of the future.
None of us can ever be Perfect. Yes, we’ll have to work on what we love, aim for great things, never compromise on the quality of the things we say and do. But we might as well love ourselves, our life, and all the people that join us in that journey.
“In all those moments of the past, in every reality in the future, and in this instant, you are mine.” I don’t remember much of what I had, I don’t care what I’ll have later.
But the point in time I write this, I know I have the love of the people close to me, and all the goodness they effuse. That is all I will ever need.
The most beautiful lines from the film:
Kho Gaye Hum Kahan
Rango sa yeh jahan
Tedhe medhe raaste hain
Jaadui imaarte hain
Main bhi aur tu bhi hai yahan
Khoyi soyi sadko pe
Sitaaro ke kandho pe
Hum naachte udte hain yahan
Kho Gaye Hum Kahan
Rango sa yeh jahan..
Say something nice and positive everyday. There are too many critics and cribbers in this world already. Don’t add to them. Spread some happiness. Be a good friend, be a great lover. It’s really the only thing you’re here to do. :)
