New Happily Ever After
What is love? I’m no scientist, not much of a philosopher, nor am I even educated in the ways of the average human. I won’t say I’m an expert at many things at all, I know enough to get by just like you.
So, what do I have to say on the subject. Just what I know through personal experience and that of friends and family. Here it is.
Love is all the things that you read about and more. Love makes your toes curl and your eyelashes flutter. Love is amazing,and comfortable. It is beautiful and fiery. It is elusive as well as in your face. I remember the exact moment I fell in love for the first time in my life, it was a skype moment, he had his chin in his hand and he said something hilarious, I threw back my head and laughed, full and loud. Then he said, “I love your smile”. As I looked back into his eyes I knew. He is my home.
But wait…. rewind. I am a 53 year old woman with parkinsons disease. An incurable, degenerative disease that brings about horrific problems from both the disease and its medicines. I have been battling this rollercoaster ride for almost ten years. But wait…. how likely is it that I find the love of my life NOW and on top of that, he battles the same monster parkinsons, for 22 years.
What a coincidence, an act of God, a stroke of luck, or karma paying us back for past good acts, it happened
We met by accident. Online. He was complaining about joining a dating site and receiving no responses. I responded with a resounding…Pick me…
From that day in May, we haven’t stopped talking, communicating, writing, sending gifts…
I flew to the UK, from my first glance at the man, I was done. I was in love fully and completely for the first time in my life. We proceeded to spend 47 idyllic days together in the beautiful UK. We wandered, aimlessly in the country, eating fish and chips, laughing and loving every minute together. We hung out with two very special friends, and we spent soooo much time alone, REALLY alone… we very rarely disagreed, if we did, his smile made me forget what I was mad about.
Before I left for the UK I promised a friend that I would hold back… just that one or two minutes to be sure. I promised to smell his skin and feel it, even taste it. I must admit that I did this, my new man, smelled like rain. his skin felt and tasted like rose petals… He passed that test. I am not going into great detail about our private times, all I can honestly say is that Nothing in my life prior prepared me for his love.
I wore his clothes, I love his dog. I love our village, with its handy shop the beautiful roads for biking, the awesome church that I love to just walk its’grounds and seek the beauty. I love his family, soon to be my own.
He proposed a month later, we have two long years to hang out together until anything happens, but I am for the first time ever, satisfied, content and truly happy.
I just have to add this post script. I have lived, I have felt a kind of love for several participants in my relationships. (Definitely, another story) But, I do have to say I have never felt like this. right now we are more than 5000 miles apart. We haven’t been able to talk as much as I would have liked, but we have six weeks until I move most of my things to the UK. And I can FEEL him. I can feel his energy and his thoughts move through my body. I know his touch. I can feel it at moments when I need him. To calm my anxiety, to soothe my heart, to show me how much he loves me.
That is what is different, I know he is a part of me that is missing, I can feel him, the strength of his love and his fierce protection…. everyday.