It’s not difficult to address someone the way they request it. As an essential part of our culture we often start introductions by highlighting our preferred nickname and I have yet to meet a person who took offense to calling someone “Sam” instead of “Samuel” or “Samantha”. Similarly, there’s an unwritten agreement between society and artists — nobody seems to even imply that Dwayne Johnson or Kwon Ji-young are putting significant burden on us by having the stage names “The Rock” and “G-Dragon”.
Why aren’t we as accepting of transgender people who are asking us to refer to them by their preferred pronouns and name? Whether or not we believe transgenderism exists, whether or not we agree with it there isn’t a single rational reason to deny using their requested pronouns and names. In the end, even haters of Dwayne and Ji-young will refer to them as “The Rock” and “G-Dragon” though both stage names are boastful and self-gratuitous. We might hate Sam from work but we still refer to him/her by the name they told us to use.
If there isn’t a rational reason to misgender and deadname an entire group of people then why are we hung up on the practice? Ignorance might play a role in understanding a transgender individual’s struggles but certainly it has no relation to whether or not we call them “Jennifer” instead of “Michael” and vice versa. Simply because in our daily life we subconsciously follow people’s preferences without understanding why “Sam” reflects who they are more than “Samuel” or “Samantha”. Not to mention the cisgender people who change names legally — even if we’re aware of their old identity we will still refer to them by their chosen identity.
I think people who disrespect transgender individuals’ preferences and requests willfully wish to cause them pain where they know it hurts. If we can dismiss the acting of Dwayne Johnson while also referring to him as “The Rock” I’m certain we could dismiss a transgender activist while also referring to his/her/other preferred pronouns and name. Having an objection to someone doesn’t equal willfully hurting the person, in fact, causing pain completely discredits this objections as blind hatred.
If we seek to appear as a rational person with points to discuss we better stop childishly throwing a tantrum because someone asked us to call them “Sam” and we should be aware that disrespecting transgender people by misgendering and deadnaming them isn’t an argument rather a useless emotional response on a hateful child’s intellectual level. It’s very easy to address people properly, it’s so easy that daily we master this “challenge” without complaints so how about we stop pretending it’s a burdensome task that requires us to go out of our way to be “politically correct”…
By the way, coming from a country where there’s only a single third person pronoun cisgender people’s struggle with “he/she” in relation to transgender people comes off as incredibly petty.
