The Social Animal Within
Aristotle famously observed that humans are social animals.
Being social is so intrinsic to our nature that anyone too self-sufficient to partake in society is either “a beast or a god.”
After over 2,300 years later, this has not changed.
Social psychologists have found that our relationships with others define us.
Research has revealed that our minds often wander, consuming almost half of our waking hours. The areas of the brain that are active during mind wandering overlay the areas of the brain that concentrate on our social lives and ourselves. In the absence of immediate tasks, our minds drift towards thoughts about others — judging them and pondering their opinions of us.
We behave differently when we are in others’ presence, real or imagined. Other people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours affect ours. Ours influences theirs too. There are even times when we wouldn’t do the things we do if we didn’t see others do it.
Those who have attended mass gatherings would find this experience familiar.
It could be at a concert, political rally, sporting event, or a motivational guru’s conference. The pull to do what others are doing is irresistible. Being caught up in the collective emotions, synchronizing the chorus, and cheering the same slogans that everyone else is, comes spontaneously. Going along with the crowd seems like the only thing to do.
This group behaviour appears irrational from afar, but it makes perfect sense for all in attendance. The intense desire to belong compels the social animal within us to conform to what the majority is doing. Thus, the opportunity to be part of a community, even for a moment, is too good to pass up.
However, we do not need to be in the presence of others to experience this.
We see this happening when ideas shared over social media go viral. People wanting to be part of a group start adopting the same opinion. Although most opinions are benign, some of them can be of the strong variety. Expressions of outrage and hatred resonate across the board, and only a target’s “cancellation” pacifies the online mob.
Besides the physical and digital presence of others, their imagined presence sways us, too.
Before we meet anyone outside our houses, other people have already influenced us. We imagine their reactions as we get dressed in the morning. What would our coworkers think of our new Rolex? Would it impress the client? But, it’s casual Friday and we don’t want to come across as overdressed, so maybe an Apple Watch would suffice?
Similarly, most of us don’t turn up to work in slippers, and nor do we turn up in a business suit for a casual weekend brunch with friends. Why not? Because we monitor our behaviours against the imagined reactions of others. We do not need firsthand experience to avoid showing up in outlandish attires.
The imagined reactions of others change us even if they aren’t present. We behave differently in anticipation of how people will react.
In short, people influence other people.
The gravitational pull of society profoundly affects our decisions and self-concept.
However, in an increasingly connected age, it’s essential to recognize the strength and impact of this influence. It is not just about acknowledging our desire to belong, but also about being mindful of the decisions we make in our social worlds.
Are we truly acting on our own accord, or are we mere reflections of the crowd? As social beings, it’s upon us to find a balance — to be a part of the collective, yet mindful and authentic in our choices.
The ancient wisdom of Aristotle still rings true; we must ask ourselves, what kind of social animal do we choose to be?
