Post-apocalyptic Purple Prose Contest

I thought we could have some fun this week by celebrating purple prose, post-apocalyptic style.

What’s purple prose? Elevated language where none is needed. Overly flowery descriptions of the mundane that distract. Haughty verbiage where spare description would suffice. Maximum verbosity. I’d like to honor language on stilts that draws excessive attention to itself as it pertains to the decline and fall of civilization.

I want to see your best worst paragraph, up to a hundred words but less will be better. The topic? Narrative fiction that would fit the post-apocalyptic genre. Take it in whatever direction you’d like. One prompt suggestion if you need a place to start:

Moderate-tempered Maxine has a delivery of a beating human heart she needs to drive across the wastelands. She has twenty four hours to make the trip. First she needs to check her car, and then there’s time to hit the local taproom. “One for the road, because it might be my last one,” is her motto.

Keep it PG as there’s kids around here somewhere. The most upvotes wins. Share with your friends. Stuff your vote count any way you can.

What’s the prize? I’ve got a T-shirt with the Nineveh’s Child cover design (black, extra large) and a paperback copy which I’ll sign. All that and bragging rights. The only restriction is I won’t send the prize internationally (I’m in the U.S.) Anyone can enter. Enter multiple times if you’d like. Entries for the PAPPC are to be submitted in your comments below. Upvote the ones you like. Glower at the ones you don’t. Have fun and let’s see what you’ve got!

Enter here in the comments section. (Link: https://www.facebook.com/gerhardgehrkeauthor/photos/a.632022500271785.1073741829.507575092716527/956298341177531/?type=3&theater )

If you prefer not to put it on Facebook, drop it on my blog and I’ll copy and paste it with your name at the top. (Link: https://capriciousnarrator.com/2017/08/13/the-post-apocalyptic-purple-prose-contest/ )

Deadline for final entry 12 Noon PDT, Sunday August 20, 2017. I will decide any tiebreakers.