I thought I forget my keys in my apartment, but when I got back , they werent there. what the fuck. I feel like willy stole them…again. But I cant be sure. Theres nothing worse than losing ur keys.

Dont forget to wash ur privates. One time I forget to for almost a month and when I remembered to….they were gone! Luckily I found them in a park near my apt, which was all good because I really needed to get outside.

Is love real??? Theres nothing worse than falling in love and believing it then finding out they “loved” you because you like a certain candy bar or ur fave sport is tennis. Is love just a bunch of stupid preferences piled on top of each other?

Im really high right now. I need a back rub, $100,000, and a vacation.

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