Great story; so much to relate to.
I grew up wanting my parents’ approval, encouragement and acknowledgement for my striving. The lack of same gave rise to open rebellion, shouting matches and threats of physical harm from both camps.
Like an unsuspecting sponge I soaked up the strife. Ran away from home, to college, while launching a 30-year career as an alcoholic. Sober now for almost 20 years.
I say all that to encourage your efforts for self discovery and healing. You would be correct to suspect that my failure to do so led to wasted opportunities and emotional harm to others, all shrouded in misery and self loathing.
Nothing helpful comes from trying to affirm our belonging to the tribe we were born to when all evidence points to “not my tribe”. You seem to have developed a sense of your true self and the life you choose to live.
All the best in pursuing and living your path.