Dear Bharat vassiyo: A Paki’s rant.

Alright! Ya’ll Indians need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT MAN. Team India lost the ICC final to Pakistan. Boo hoo. Big deal. Why ya’ll being so extra? Is it really fucking necessary to bitch about it for so long? I mean, bruh, ya’ll ain’t the only ones who’re passionate about cricket. Kabhi Pakistan a kr dekho bachey andey se nikaltey nahi hein or ball or bat un k hath mein hota ha.

For those of you who live under a rock and don’t know what i’m talking about, I seriously don’t know what to tell you.

Lekin jo kuch tum log apni team k sath kr rhey ho, that is just so damn absurd yar. And if you are an Indian and reading this and while probably cussing me also having thoughts alongside which include what the fuck I am talking about? Lemme break it down for ya real quick.

  1. Ya’ll fired your cricket team coach just cuz you lost one game. ONE MUTHA-EFFING GAME.
  2. You people are crying like you fucking lost Kashmir to us. (I mean its pretty inevitable, but you know what I mean)
  3. Players ki tasweeroo pr tum kalak mul rhey ho.
  4. Suicides tum kr rhey ho.
  5. Tumharey intolarent as fuck celebs ( for whom we, unfortunatley I have to say, had mad respect for) were either very high or were forced to tweet those tweets because no person in their right fucking mind would do that.
  6. Aur to aur, un (players) k gheroo ko gher k tum beithay ho.

If you went through the above list and still don’t see anything completley wrong there, then a fucking Standing Ovation for you.

Like, I get it, hum har jayein to hum bhi auratoon ki trha roona dhoona dal detay hein lekin ye petty harkatein have rendered us speechless. And not in a good way.

Pichlay aik decade se bhi to jeet’tay a rhey ho Chatur Ramalingum ki auladoo. Aik “A” nahi aya to jahanum raseed ho gaye tumhari insaniyat?

I never throught I’d be saying this in a billion years but The Indian Cricket Team is legit one of the strongest teams on THE PLANET. Two time world cup Champion, strongest batting line, 5 times Asia cup winner, highest ICC ranking, and a not to mention you have had bad ass players like Tendulkar with 51 centuries thorugh out his career. Why can you not learn to be thankful for that shit load of acheivments? Give those guys a break man. They’ve aready been mocked enough times by Pakistanis all over the globe( and it don’t seem like its going away any time soon,) but they’d happily go through that if ya’ll had the decency to show some fucking respect for what they have given you in the past.

Stop PMSing, stop acting like a fucking 5 year old stubborn ass fetus, have some sportsmen spirit or just don’t fucking play at all and most importantly,

“Get your shit together. “

But then again, toilets nhi hon gay to shit will be everywhere. :3

Or jahan tk rahi terrorism ki baat, to us mein to argue kerna is trha ha jeisay bhens k agey been bjana. Jis din dimagh istaimal kerna seekh jao ge shayad us din koi baat cheet ho sakey.

There is more where that came from lekin abhi yehi hazam kr lena, bari baat ha.

Ciao.

Regards,

A Parosi.

P.S: Hum angrezi jantey hein. Lekin hum insaniyat bhi jantey hein. Wo zyada zaroori cheez ha.