Leather and Lace

At this very moment, I am naked in front of your eyes;
Skin and bones, bare and vulnerable
And by skin and bones, I mean my weaknesses and my insecurities;
And by bare and vulnerable, I mean I am reckless and a thought can already pull the trigger
Sometimes it’s just me and sometimes it is me on the edge of the cliff ready to skinny dip cliff dive with stones tied to my feet;
And by stones, I mean sorrows and woes
Diving straight right into the ocean of my own misery
Drowning in blood and water; And by blood, I mean family to whom I am estranged;
And by water, I mean the people who said they are my wheel balance on a bike I am still learning to balance.
On days, standing in front of the mirror and telling myself it’s okay is as difficult as walking on a tight rope on the tallest building and that the rope is on fire
I look myself straight in the eye, as I tear up, I see myself screaming, trapped in my own mind — I am a prisoner of my own thoughts, tortured by what I feed my mind with: Paranoia
I tell myself I am strong and indestructible like the strongest and boldest mountain people challenge
But know this
Know that I am a lady dressed in leather; And by leather, I mean this strong face, strength-ridden fighter
She is water trying to be ice under the heat — keeping my composure
But remember that I am only a lady,
Under these leather is lace; And by lace, I mean fragile, hanging cautiously on a thread
My fears and torments
Someday, I might just cut through the leather and slip through the lace, either feeling empowered or oblivious.
(g.h.)
artwork by @lol.thedarkside
