Dead Man’s Philosophy: Introduction
(Skip the section in italics if you want…)
Before reading, I will introduce myself and what I’m doing here…
My name is James P Corbett, a recent Columbia University dropout searching for meaning in life (not life’s meaning). Writing, creating, and learning anything my heart desires, motivated me for years. So, finding meaning in life will be through one those former vague attributes mentioned.
My current mission is building a team of individuals to build a game changing, hyperlocal (see posts from people a few miles away) social media mobile application. It’s purpose is to let the world’s people, “Be a local everywhere.”
Also, I wanted to bring a novel to the internet…first. My story is, “Dead Man’s Philosophy.” Trying this new approach to writing a story, I think, is fun. I will write other blogs and stories, but this is primarily going to be my every Wednesday post: Chapter “X” from “Dead Man’s Philosophy.”
So, all that said….please enjoy the introduction!
So, I decided to write you a letter, the dying art of the portraying emotion through handwritten words.
I miss you a lot; really I do. Writing you this letter, I feel, will bring you a little closer to me. Walking through life’s mazes everyday feels like walking through a haze of gunfire or a white out blizzard: blinding. There were always things about me I could not share with other people, things no one would understand. I can’t wait to see you again. I know it’s been a while and you miss me as much as I miss you but we will be together again soon. I dream about you and think about how beautiful every part of you is. Through dreams I am still with you and you are still in my arms. Our kiss stops all noise around us, changes temperature, and removes any bad feeling inside. Our hearts still beat together in a harmonious sound choirs of angels cannot depict through song. Every night dreams take me into a world of beauty and comfort: you and I together.
One of my favorite memories of us together was our second time going out together. We were walking through the woods to a silently waiting dock that sat on the lake. The dock was waiting for us to see the show begin. It was a fall day and the trees’ leaves were falling like rain, despite the effort of the dying branches. The rain of leaves created a beautiful vibrant carpet for us to play, walk, and run on and through. Your laughter mixed with the fall sun creeping through the forest tree tops, created an illuminating glow around you no woman has ever had before. In that moment, my mind recorded your laughter and every movement; each embrace we shared felt like you would never let go, and eventually we fell into the carpet of leaves. The leaves seemed to come alive and form a bed for us to fall into while we kissed to extinguish time and end pain. Our kiss in this moment was the first time I knew I was in love with you. Nothing could stop my feelings from flaring. Your beautifully full lips, as they pressed against mine, took me into a world of unbreakable happiness. Your breast warmed my chest as we clenched each other with loves grip. When you broke your lips away from mine, our eyes met, and even then we were still engulfed in an endless circle of love. I looked deeply into your eyes and I saw there was truth. I saw no lie, no pain, nor a fool; when I looked deeply within, I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.
We made our way to the lake and the silent dock. As we approached the dock a realization struck us at the same time, we forgot a blanket. But with the sunset quickly approaching we knew we wouldn’t be able to get to the car and back without missing the show. With only each other for warmth we laughed and smiled. The wind began to blow harder and got louder. Trees began to dance to the beat of the lake water waves crashing beneath the dock planks and the whistling of the wind. The lake water was a beautiful purplish red orange to the trees now being cast into shadow creating a dark black backdrop highlighting the beautiful colors. All we could do was sit silently to admire the show Mother Nature was putting on for us. Nature’s music was beautiful; the choreography was perfect, our world was happy for you and me. In this moment we shared a love even the birds could see and feel.
I remember that night before we went out for dinner my mind recorded you in your favorite black dress and it was your first time wearing it. You walked out from the bathroom with your long straight hair draped over your shoulders curling just at the ends perfectly above your breast. Your diamonds draped around your neck and hanging from your ears swaying back and forth as you walked towards me. Your smile was slight but happy and your eyes were bright and highlighted with the perfect eyeliner. Your red lipstick made your plush full lips pop like a beautiful firework in my eyes. You hugged me and gave me a kiss that numbed my body unlike anything I have felt. Moments like these were the ones that I thought of when I saw you the other night.
I sat by your bedside in contemplation as to what I was going to do, how was I going to live. You were my everything. I can’t feel, see, smell, or hurt. I had nothing inside me. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to function. You lay battered and bruised, in a comatose state. You were broken in every way. Dry blood lay upon your face and chest. Standing above your body I cried. They told me you were never going to wake up. You were to pass while in this deep sleep.
I had to hold you, I couldn’t help myself. My right hand behind your head and my left arm around your torso I gently pulled you to my neck. I held with the grip of love and cried with the tears of death. My tears began to wash dry blood from your face and chest as it dripped slowly down to the bed. You must have heard my cries because that’s when I felt your butterfly like eyelashes move and spread apart as they released a radiant shinning light from your eyes.
You looked at me. Your smile was weak, but beautifully strong. You kissed me with those perfect lips. Our kiss was a dance of death and love creating life. You said you loved me more than the trees loved rain fall. More than the fish love water. You said your love for me could only be written in a story or fairytale. I began to tear and replied that I love you more than any man can feel. I loved you more than stars loved space and more than my very own self-being. I told you that you were everything to me and I would stay strong for you. You smiled and told me you must go, but only after one more kiss.
That kiss numbed your pain, made you forget time and the room feel warmer. You were alive in me: reborn. You died in that kiss.
You died making our kiss eternal to you and forever to me.
I love you. I will be with you soon, but only after I accomplish my tasks here on earth. Continue to hold my kiss in eternity until I see you again.
Your One and Only