Trump National Country Club: A Liberal’s Guide to Understanding Their President
You think that he is a racist and an elitist and, insert ist here, blah, blah, blah, literally Hitler. I got it. But…
…just for a minute, let’s pretend that he is a regular human that does good things and bad things, has both selfless and selfish motives, has some redeeming value as all humans do, and set all that stuff aside. Just for a minute. Then see if this explanation of Trump helps him make more sense to you.
You know how he loves his hotels and country clubs, and wants them to be the most classy, right? Well… this is my theory.

When Trump became President, the whole Country became his most beloved Country Club. And if you are an American citizen, black, white, immigrant, whatever… you are a member of his fabulous Country Club. 100%. And its the greatest Country Club in the world. Just fantastic. He wants to renovate his newly acquired Country Club, and for it to have the biggest and the best of everything. Just tremendous.
He wants to Make The Country Club Great Again.

And believe him, he is the greatest at this. He is the greatest at everything he has ever tried.
“BUT TRUMP HATES MEXICANS AND MUSLIMS!”

Trump hates trespassers that trash his club and mistreat his members. If you are a dues paying member of the club, you are in his club. He wants you to have the best experience in the most fantastic luxury! However, if you break into his club, he does not have much patience with you. Leave the club, get a membership application, and go through proper channels. Because he is going to bring the most amazing people into the Country Club. Just watch.
He is making this club just incredible, and if you are not already a member, he wants to make sure that you are going to help make the Country Club the greatest, with just the best people.
He is very, very highly educated, and really the greatest in leadership, and he wants to make sure that you understand that membership in this club comes with rights, but also responsibilities. He doesn’t want new members that steal the towels or pee on the greens. New members need to be super classy.
And if you break into the Country club, trash the place and hurt the members. No. Just no. You are a bad hombre.

Because Trump aims to be the greatest host in the world. Bar none. He really loves this Country Club. It’s his baby.

“BUT HE HATES BLACK PEOPLE!”
So he made sure that blacks would advance the fastest they ever have under his stewardship of the Country Club? If he hates them, why is he being just the greatest at making their time at the Club more lavish than it has ever been? Why do so many more of them like him now? Really, ask him, what he is doing for black people is just extraordinary. Yuge.

“BUT …. GAYS?!”
You mean those tremendous people? Believe him, they are tremendous.
“OK… but we know he hates women.”
Oh yeah, then why so many women in his senior staff? And why, for the first time in “herstory,” has the conversation in this “Country Club” suddenly become so free that when one woman says, “I was treated like crap by [insert Gold Key member of the Country Club here],” rather than being ushered out by security like usual, she gets to keep talking?
And when other women are all, “You know what? Me too!” the staff is not running in interrupt the conversation and change the subject. In fact, it is the Gold Key Creeps that are finally getting walked out the door in bracelets. A lot of them. More than ever before.

Look, no President in our history has had the ego that Donald Trump does. And a large part of that man’s considerable self-esteem has been, for decades, that he builds and maintains American Castles. He will tell you himself, “The greatest builder, is me.”
The US is now, in his heart, the ultimate Trump property.
And you, American liberal, are a fully fledged member. He wants, even you, to be part of the team that is winning again. If you are nasty to him, he will probably call you a hater, or say you are weak like a baby, but that it about as far as it goes. No matter how badly you behave, he is not going to throw you out. Membership has its privileges. He’s not coming after you, unless you threaten his amazing, just amazing, Country club. And it is amazing, let him tell you.
Mind you, if you throw a tomato at him, he will pick it up and throw it back at you. Be clear about that. But you are still a member. And he wants all his members to be offered the greatest lifestyle. The greatest.
Also, if you are a critic of the hospitality industry, and write an unfairly bad review of his establishment or his management, he is going to call you fake news losers. But you knew that already.
So if you, my leftie co-member, decide to take a step back from resisting (because it is getting super silly… you must be exhausted by now) please consider looking at him through this lens, and see if his words and actions make more sense to you.
He might be a bit of a covfefe, and his confidence may exceed his abilities, but he really does want to make your Country Club Great Again.

