Too Dumb (I Mean Old) for Silicon Valley?

I was born and raised in a military family. I’ve lived on both US coasts and also on the Mediterranean. As a teenager in Athens, Greece I quickly learned that experiencing a different culture was a fantastic gig for my brain (thanks Mom and Dad).

Being slung around the world in my formative years was not without its own particular conundrums, however awesome my childhood truly was. I became a loyal democrat; I grew to dislike narrow-minded individuals; I knew that white wasn’t the only skin color on the planet; good food meant variety; great conversation meant diversity; and reading books was a means to an end of getting smarter, keeping a good job, and having something to contribute.

So being a snob comes natural to me. And determining where to settle down after college with likeminded snobs became crucial to my future growth and well being.

Hence, I migrated to the Bay Area: A phenomenal package wrapped up in a picturesque landscape that attracts millions of visitors every year. Its natural beauty, liberal politics, entrepreneurial spirit and diversity are well known (I got that from Wikipedia, and it’s true), and so it was easy to call it home.

For a snob like me it was the place to settle down, find a great job and get on with life. In short, I believe the Bay Area saved my life. Initially.

Not So Quick — Is the Bay Area Really the Place to Be?

This article is not about how the Bay Area is arguably one of the most expensive places to live in the world (it is). It’s not about where all the uber-hip, large enterprises have located their headquarters (here). It’s not about the top 1% who own homes in this area (so many do). It’s not about the fact that engineers rule the world (they do), and are the central focus for most businesses (sometimes the only focus). It’s not about knowing your technology (you’d better) and keeping up with digital spurts (mind blowing).

Wait. It is about all that. But it’s mostly about how I keep getting turned down by the uber-hip, large enterprises when I apply for jobs.

I’m a Gen X, Y/Baby Boomer girl who’s in the over-40 club. Bright, passionate and driven by technology. I have a wealth of scattered experience. I’ve worked for numerous companies on different projects. I care about good product.

So OMG and WTF is wrong? Could it be (gasp) I’m too old? Could it be that I’m not smart enough? What must a girl like me do to get her foot in the door?

Have I been out-snobbed by the best-of-the-best in the Bay Area? Dang, that hurts.

I’m Sorry I’m Old

The media say that Silicon Valley loves innovators, creative thinkers, people who think outside the box, entrepreneur-minded, agile, quick witted and if you play soccer … score!

I say that the uber-hip, large enterprises love the 15% who have already worked for other large enterprises, and who are younger than 40.

The onslaught of the current 21st Century Recession was also the onslaught of ditching dem old folk. In other words, shipping the over-the-hill back home. And home for many of us feels like the Funny Farm as we navigate the waters to find another ship. Metaphors abound.

Ah yes. These uber-hip, large enterprises justified this ‘ditching’ as a regrettable consequence of diminishing returns and fiscal responsibility to their shareholders. But we know what it was… they were cleaning house and looking for fresh blood. (Thank you, Meg Whitman.)

It’s as simple as that.

There is No More Retirement

For those of you inclined to comment, please do, but perhaps I can save you some trouble. I’ve heard many depressing opinions about the worth of older kin (for we are all related) in the workforce.

We:

• Don’t have fresh skills and are stuck in the past
• Can’t take direction from a younger boss
• Abhor change and are disagreeable
• Ask for too much money
• Are not as smart as the others (thank you Mark Zuckerberg)

If these are your thoughts be veeeewy fwighten‘d (thank you Elmer Fudd). You, too, are aging. Ouch! Retirement is currently a figment of our imagination. There is no such thing anymore.

We all must work until we are old (except for the 1% who own all the money in the world), and then we must work some more.

Here’s Your Pep Talk

For those “old” people whose elevators still rise to the top but who find themselves getting turned down again and again from Amazon and LinkedIn and Google and eBay and PayPal and Apple and Tesla and Yahoo and Wells Fargo and Intel and Oracle and Visa and Symantec and Bing and Salesforce and … I write this for you.

Don’t give up. Eventually there will be no more young people and companies will have to cast a wider net for us slow-swimming fish. Freelance now, with the understanding that the tides are turning and full time positions are definitely on the rise. (Oh, the metaphors! Stop me!)

Don’t give up. We are smart and creative. We know the value of right-brain left-brain synchronicity. We’re wiser. We know when to shut up. This has dollar-value. Pretty soon it will be recognized.

Don’t give up. We believe in commitment. We’re not climbers (our knees hurt), therefore we don’t climb. We stick around. We may be a bit slower (too much soccer) but we make fewer mistakes. These are key performance indicators. Trust me.

Don’t give up. Boys, get your hair dyed (we girls do it) and we should all ponder a slight nip and tuck along the jaw line. There is simply no excuse in displaying your real age (I jest, but not really). No need to get “Real Housewives” about it, but just a little carving won’t harm you.

Don’t give up. I know you don’t care if your boss is younger. Wouldn’t it be great if we could say that in an interview? We like smart people. They are more fun to work for. We know what the market will bear and that’s how much salary we request. And we don’t party as much. Been there, done that.

And if the business world keeps forcing you prematurely into mental Depends, just repeat Rutger Hauer’s last words on “Blade Runner” to anybody in a position to… not hire you:

And then have a good laugh. You’ve worked hard for it.