I’m Going To Die And It’s Your Fault
My name is Ginny McQueen. And unfortunately, I’ve become both a victim of and an expert in gender-based terrorism.
I’ve been through being physically stalked across multiple countries by 4channers. I barely made it through Gamergate. And then last year I was targeted by Nazis, MRAs, Incels, MTGOWs, and the rest of alt-right (some of whom are very showy about their guns online, and many that are local to me), and I haven’t had a day of peace since.
My life is a circus of abuse. I had to shut down my entire life and delete all social media. It destroyed my career. My activism work shut down. I can no longer afford the treatments for my medical conditions. I have had multiple threats mailed to my home, but I can’t afford to move (I can’t even afford my rent). I don’t have anywhere to hide, and no support because my family died a long time ago.
This is probably the 100th time I’ve written about this in some way in the past year. Most times I eventually have to take it down after having gotten a few “that sucks” comments because simply reporting on it fuels a whole new wave of abuse. I’ve been silenced over and over again by these people, people who are not shy about their intent to have me killed.
But the reason they are able to silence me is because of you. You, the casual reader who doesn’t want to get involved because it’s too much for them to think about. You, the journalist who refuses to report on women’s experiences with terrorists. You, the dude with resources who won’t bother to reach out. You, the lady who has connections but won’t use them. You, the person who will read this and not pass it on.
And when those 10 people were murdered earlier this week, that’s a little your fault, too.
The frustration felt by myself and other women who have been in this for years trying to warn you all is indescribable. Our voices are sore, our bodies at breaking points, and we desperately need reinforcements. We have been out here fighting a war that no one will even look at, and too many of us have become casualties.
If I don’t get help soon, I will be dead. That’s the reality I live in. Every day, my health gets worse and my situation gets a little more dire. And the people doing this will simply move on to the next woman who dares to speak out.
And it will work. Everything these terrorists are doing will work. Because it already is working, and has been for years. And when you come across stories from women lucky enough to still be around, it is because they had a financial and mental support system that most women do not have. You are hearing about the survivors that still have the option to speak.
I’m usually someone who tries to make other people feel better. But I can’t do that anymore. I can’t hold and coddle the world while you ignore me and every other victim of this horror.
You are not doing enough. You are not doing nearly enough — and people are dying because of it.