Dear New Year’s Resolutions: BYE FELICIA
It’s December 31st. Your social media feed is probably awash with people moaning about 2016 being so horrible, all the ways 2017 is going to be awesome, and how drunk they plan to get tonight to set 2016 on fire.
Here’s the thing — 2016 was merely a series of dates and time in an ancient system designed to organize the same. Buck the system, friends. A year is just a social construct.
Here’s a secret. I’m not actually going to give you five ways to stick to, or not stick to, your resolutions.
If I did, it would probably look like: 1. Burn them. 2. Move on with your life. 3. Drink a coffee and pet a dog. 4. Love yourself and those in your life. 5. Recognize those you don’t need in your life and take out the trash.
Listen, I get it. 2016 was pretty rough on many people I love. I started the year off strong and found it quickly turning to a pile of sand instead of a diamond. I understand the need for a fresh start, to begin on a fresh page, to open a new notebook, to wash the slate, etc, etc, etc… (insert your favorite tired old trope here).
Do you know what I’m telling my clients this year? I’m telling them to buck the trend, to look at their resolutions and tell them to go fuck off. (GASP! That’s a dirty word!)
Why? I am a firm believer that resolutions are a forced phenomenon created to make you feel excited for a few days but there is nothing in place to make you actually accountable for the end result. I am a firm believer that on any day of your life, at any hour of the day, at any flash moment, you can grab your life by the reigns and change it. Waiting for a certain day, putting that heavy weight on a certain day, proudly proclaiming your wishes to match everyone else doing the same, well, that only sets you up for failure.
People PLAN their resolutions. They say, ‘I have four more days to eat bad and then I am going to change my life!’ ‘I have one more week of this dreadful year and then I’m going to get that new job!’ ‘Starting in January, I’m going to save more and take charge of my life!’
This sucks. When you make comments like this, you give your power away instead of taking it back. You take the importance of your every single day away. You place every magic moment into one day and when that day is over, it’s just another day.
If you truly want to change your life, live a new life and create yourself to be a new person, you must create change every single day. Understand that every day can change your life. Every breath matters. Every thought matters. Every moment has a purpose.
To combat resolution fatigue, I’m going to urge you to kick the habit. Tell it, “Goodbye.” Move on with your life — move on WITH your life — move on with YOUR life. If your path is not going the way you want — stop. Take a few deep breaths, reflect, take notes, correct, take a few baby steps, rinse/lather/repeat.
In the coming year, I will spend quite a bit of time talking with you about what is holding you back from living to your strongest potential. I’ll show you how to recognize and get rid of toxic people, help you realize that you can cut people that serve no positive purpose out of your life without an explanation, hold your hand on planning HOW to make your goals happen, show you some of my favorite tips and tricks for getting back on track, and how to harness the most important power in your life — YOU.
To kick start this, drop the pressure you place on resolutions. Trying to plan an entire year can be overwhelming, but it also doesn’t allow for wiggle room. What do you do when you get off-track? Most people just give up. They think, ‘What’s the point in going for that goal now that I’m here?’
I woke up planning to write a “Bye, Felicia!” blog for 2016. I changed my mind with my first sip of coffee. Yes, 2016 had challenges and it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I had surgery that had a slower than normal recovery, I lost pregnancies, I made major business changes, and lost some time. No, I lost quite a bit of time on dwelling about what went wrong the day before, the week before, etc. However, there were also amazing days full of strengthening my life by terminating toxic people and relationships with people who thought they had way too much pull in my life, achieving small goals, creating plans for success, and giving myself permission to proceed as the main creator of my life.
One thing you need to embrace is that the unplanned will happen. You will stumble, but you only need to reflect — not break ground and start to build a nest in the black hole of doubt.
When did we stop celebrating the small victories as quality achievements? As I tell my clients who are frustrated, we stopped celebrating these when the world around us told us they weren’t big enough. Drop that mindset immediately. Celebrate simplicity, congratulate yourself daily, and surround yourself with grace.
One of today’s free printables will guide you through creating goals on a monthly basis by setting down achievable moments and key actions. The second will guide you through making the most of each day, being grateful, doing kind deeds, remembering to drink your water and take daily breaks to reflect on what is and what is not working. I like to print these and put them on a clipboard. I may recycle the paper, or, if I had a day I need to reflect on later (either really challenging or really successful), I will put the page in a flexible binder.
The monthly printable is pretty, the second for daily planning is basic. Get excited about your monthly goals and dress them up. With your daily planning, get to work. Don’t get distracted by the flair but stay focused on your tasks. Be present. Be grateful. Be blissful. Be empowered. Most importantly, be you.
(If you are reading this on Niume or Medium and cannot download the .pdf, please go to www.girlvscity.com/2016/12/31/dear-new-years-resolutions-bye-felicia)