I think it is a mistake to distance yourself from your friend. Sometimes we can be so emotionally wrapped up in a cause that we can only see it. Having a friend you trust that might see the world a little differently is a big plus even if you don’t always recognize it. The fact is that bodies are not piling up. There has never been a safer time or place in history than here and now regardless of race. Sometimes we let the perfect be the enemy of the good. While we should strive for the perfect we should not be burdened because of it either.
From your talk of joint trips to Hawaii it seems like you have a pretty good life which makes the oppressor comment seem strange. As is your references to people who voted for Trump as your enemies. There are ignorant people who voted for him as there are ignorant people who voted against him. These people you consider your enemies are people that you are going to have to coexist with. Some may have some perverse thoughts on race and other things, but winning their hearts and minds should be the goal. Some nobody will ever reach, but that isn’t the case for the vast majority of them. Who better to convince them that they are incorrect in their own bias than someone such as yourself?
The whites need not apply thing is bizarre to me. That is what the alt-right wants correct? Everyone keep to themselves, no inter mingling. Choosing friends based on their color is strange as well to me. There are all types of people of all races, why narrow your options based on skin pigmentation? Seems like something somebody would do in a prior century. Though maybe the title was just an effort to be popular because it seems like the in thing to go after white people these days.