Summer Camp
Dear Mom and Dad,
Boy, when I left home for the Boy Scout Jamboree in West Virginia, I never imagined I would learn so much about America. Do you believe that President Trump came to speak to us? I almost forgot about the mosquitoes and the crummy food and learning how to use a compass and make a bed out of twigs without even using Google. Before the failing New York Times lies about the speech, I made a video so you can watch the real thing.
Before the speech I never knew how bad our government was. Swamp no longer fully describes it, and “cesspool” is more appropriate. And did you know that Put America First began with the Scouts? If we can only get rid of Obamacare, we could all exercise our freedom by choosing not to have health insurance. What a great country that would be!
One thing we learn in the Scouts is loyalty. I don’t understand why the Attorney General, who was himself an Eagle Scout no less, has yet to lock up Crooked Hillary or shut down the Russian inquiry. How can the President do his job with all of these distractions? I think he should just fire all of those who stand in his way (including family members). And it so easy to do now that there is Twitter.
Did you know that we are part of a record-breaking crowd? It is almost like the inauguration (which of course the Fake News lied about). And all of us are bound to win for the rest of lives. Win so much that we will get bored at those great Manhattan cocktail parties. Of course I promise I won’t go until I am of legal drinking age (LOL), or at least have my MBA from a great school like Wharton, and can discriminate in housing and profit from my government job.
And, finally, Mom and Dad, I am now looking forward to when we all say “Merry Christmas” again (do you think Rabbi Goldfarb will mind?) And maybe some day I can live in Levittown, whatever that is.
I miss you and can’t wait to get home. In the meantime, can you contact Senator McCain’s office and wish him well? As long as he votes the right way on health care, that is (ha, ha).
Your loving son,
Josh
Originally published at gnallornothing.tumblr.com.
