Just trying to survive by writing down my thoughts, memories and nightmares
It’s not until you escape that you realise how bad it was.
My hopes were crushed
“A fearless moral inventory” … but she still fears it.
I’m terrified again. Someone is going to die
In one dream she injected a poison slowly into my chest, I stood and watched as she pushed the needle puncturing my skin, and stared passively as she pressed the plunger down millimetre by millimetre.
I did nothing to stop her.
Searching through emails to find the evidence I need, and I find an email chain from a time we split up
And I broke down
It was her being completely honest and open, admitting her drink and medical issues, asking for help