5am and Wide Awake

The rain drips over and over outside. I’ve been listening to it for at least two hours

The first nightmare woke me quickly. I don’t remember what it was, all I remember is the fear I felt when I woke up

The second nightmare built slowly in my mind. Carved an intricate story. Detailed and complex. I could feel the tension building.

She died again in my sleep. Drunk at the wheel of a car. Drove through a wall.

And now I’m too scared to go back to sleep. Or even to close my eyes.

I tried to save her in my dream, and failed again. Like I tried in real life and failed. I keep trying and keep failing. And it’s killing me