The Campr Festival Camping Survival Guide
Sure it might be half over, but the sun’s out, the tunes are blasting and it’s STILL Festival Season!
Unfortunately the cries of elation at this realization might be slightly dampened by the prospects of spending your down time in a muddy tent surrounded by inebriated, puking neighbors (aka. Festival camping).
As a renowned source of wisdom we met up with Your Mom for some advice on how to get the most out of your festival camping adventures and keep you tent puke free* (*not guaranteed).
Remember. Mom knows best.
DOUG THE CAMPR INTERN: Thanks for joining us Mom, we really appreciate your help putting together this festival camping guide for our campers. Now I’d like to start by asking; what would you have at the top of your essential pre-festie checklist?
YOUR MOM: Well it is festival season so we’re all probably too busy practicing our fist-pumping to think about what we need with us before we hit the road. However, the key to a good festival much like a good camping trip is to “always be prepared”. So, before you get going there are a few things that you should remember:
Your tickets: ‘Don’t be an idiot.’
Your mates: ‘Nothing worse than getting halfway to the festival before realizing you’ve been too busy raving in the passenger seat to notice that little Peter got left at the servo when you stopped for gas.’
Your wallet, ID, debit cards, CA$$$H: ‘Seriously. Don’t be an idiot. It’s not funny.’
Your phone: ‘Your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ cats will be expecting at least one call about how you’re “having an OK time, but really wish you could spend it with them”.’
Sunscreen: ‘Nobody makes lobster work.’
The festival app: ‘When I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to fit in my fave acts, like Hardwell and Avicii, I’m always glad to have the festival application to help me maintain maximum doof.’
WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE FESTIVAL:
DOUG: Well that all sounds like great advice to me. How about once you’ve arrived at the festival? Is there anything you would recommend to our festival-goers before they head off to see their favorite band?
MOM: Absolutely. We all know the first thing you want to do when you arrive at a festival is to ditch the car to go rub up amongst the sweaty masses in the mosh of your favorite band. But, before you run off from the campsite it’s important you get a few things sorted first:
Write down where you parked. ‘No you are not going to remember where you parked your same-as-everyone-else’s crappy rental car. Trust me.’
Pitch the tent. ‘Nobody wants to be that strange, sad beast we occasionally encounter during the late night return to camp; the person who, unable to discern the hieroglyphs on their tent instructions, has crawled into their un-erected pile of pegs and poles and is using the tent-fabric as a depressing, drunken cocoon. Until their blood alcohol lowers enough for them to remember that their friend’s tent is within crawling distance, these campers are at the mercy of the elements. Don’t become this sad drunken butterfly at your next festival and pitch your tent before you head in for the music.’
Raise a flag. ‘Have you ever tried to find a needle in a haystack that was really dark, muddy and filled with drunk people? If so, you may be somewhat familiar with the experience of finding your tent after your last gig of the day. Have a flag (or anything really) flying high near your tent so you can spot your little oasis in the surrounding drunken desert at the end of a long day grooving in the sun.’
Write your festival-friends’ numbers down. ‘Industrial permanent markers are your friends. If you lose your friends (which you will) and your phone dies (which it will) and some kind stranger lends you their’s to call someone, you’re going to want to actually have a number to call. Scribble all relevant numbers on your arm, or for master-level-festival-goers write an emergency number on your forehead. This way even if you get lost and fall asleep, someone will be able to return you to your worried mother.
… For anyone against the idea of ruining their perfectly crafted free-spirited-festival-chic look, a piece of paper in your wallet also works.’
And while we’re on the topic of losing mates… Have an Emergency ‘HELP ME I’M LOST AND HAVE NO FRIENDS’ meeting spot. ‘Just in case. You never know. Worst case scenario; your phone dies, the phone numbers rubbed off your arm in a sweaty mosh, and no one thinks you look trustworthy enough to lend a phone… Have a back up! Pick a spot and some times to meet up in case you and your festie-friends get separated.’
THE WRAP UP:
MOM: ‘So you survived the weekend. Congratulations. Now you just have to escape the Thunderdome (the festival camping car park) on wrap up day. Much like the Thunderdome — in the apocalyptic wasteland that is the festival car park at the end of the weekend, two men enter and one man leaves. The ones left behind are just sitting next to their stationary cars, rocking back and forth while the symphony of beeping horns plays the soundtrack to the infamous post festival traffic jam.
Unfortunately this is one problem that even the world’s best and brightest haven’t been able to solve. So buckle up, settle in and make sure you’ve got a killer road trip playlist sorted for the wait… because it WILL feel like this:’
Alternatively you could always avoid the Thunderdome entirely and camp your next festival with Campr. Check out campsites near your next festival at www.gocampr.com and party with the locals!
DISCLAIMER: We don’t actually know your mom, all advice comes from our own extensive ‘field research’ into festival survival techniques. Hope it helps you on your next festival camping adventure!