The difference between knowing something and *knowing* something

We all know that smoking is bad for you. Eating certain things is bad. Alcohol is bad. Exposing your skin to long in the sun is bad. Walking next to a railroad or highway is not so smart. I’m sure I could go on with this list forever, but that’s not the point: the point is we all know this and yet somehow we still do it. We still eat to much. We still smoke like a chimney. So why? Why do we do it?

Some would reply with “because I like to live a little” or just simply “because I like it” or “everybody does, it’s no big deal” or “who are you to judge me? I do what I want!!” All good, valid responses; but do you really know the full reason why? What really really is the reason? Not some scapegoat response, but the actually true fundamental reason: Why do I do this?

It’s easy to fall in the trap of thinking and saying “It is what it is because it has always been that way”. It’s much much harder to find the actual reason. Even if there isn’t one, it’s still hard to find to it. It takes active thinking energy, reflection, support and time. You have to question yourself without judgement. That’s hard. At least for me it was.

Allowing myself to see the things I do objectively without judgement, without shame, without prejudice, without consequences was hard. So hard at times my mind kept shouting “Hey stop! What are you doing stop!”. Only after I read the “War of Art” by Steven Pressfield I could give this beast a name: The resistance. I was fighting the resistance and it was winning. Time and time again.

For me this quest started since childhood, I’m 37 and now for the first time in my life the resistance is loosing. Big time. On all fields. All those books I’ve read helped, the people I’ve talked to, things I tried, times I failed and picked myself up again, the support I’ve gotten; each thing in its own way helped me to break that huge wall down to a point where I feel confident to not only write this blogpost but actually publish it.

Things happened when I was growing up. Those bad things attracted other bad things and things got worse and worse. It left me with a brain that wasn’t really connected to my body anymore. When my body was feeling something, my brain just fabricated a reason for it and later on it just ignored my body all together. It still amazes me how powerful the brain is; this makes us capable of great things, but when it works against you, that ride won’t be a pleasurable one and will have consequences; some even irreversible.

I still remember the time I realized this for the first time: it was the first time I actually *knew* my brain was doing this. Before I kinda knew it did - but I don’t know how to actual formulate the feeling - but *knowing* something for me is feeling it with body and mind — no anxiety. When I really *know* something both body and mind are in sync. You just *know* that after this your life isn’t the same anymore. Not better not worse, just different. It’s is hard work. It does have a steep price; but the reward you get is worth it.

The key is to start small and keep going. There is no correct answer nor path; you will have to find something that works for you. Change it. Test it. Trail and error — over and over again until you *know* this is it. Realize later it wasn’t really it and this is now better. Then do it some more. Write about it. Explore new things. Read books. Think for yourself. Challenge yourself and others. And above all: keep that judging voice in your head small. Listen to feedback of others but give it the place it deserves. Change your mind and option for the right reasons. And change it often.

Ask yourself over and over again “is this truly what I want” “How do I feel at this time, is this truly ok” “Do I really really need/this” “Is this really what I want to do know?”. If the answer is “no” ask yourself “why am doing/feeling this way?” “Why am I doing this?” Following with “what can I do to change it?”. Your mind will answer. When you keep listening your body will to. Question it again, reason with yourself. Repeat. Until you really *know* what you want, need to-do and take action. There is no right and wrong. You always learn something; even if it is that you don’t like it.

Now is a good time to start. 🚀

V/