Dreams

Maybe the dead don’t visit us in dreams, maybe they do.

I’ve been told it is normal to dream about your loved ones after they have passed. However, I was becoming frustrated because no matter how much I thought about my Dad, I couldn’t seem to get myself to dream about him. A lot of people believe that it is through dreams that their loved ones visit them. I wasn’t entirely sure that was true, but there was part of me that thought it possible and wanted to be visited by him.

The other night I had, from what I can remember, my first dream about my Dad since his passing. I was going up an escalator in the airport, he was going down an escalator on the other side. The man didn’t look like him at first, it took me a second to realize it was him. He looked older, a little heavier but then we made eye contact and I knew. It was the same piercing gray eyes I looked at for 19 years, there was no doubt in my mind that it was him. The second I made the connection his face morphed into how I remember him. I reached for him but since we were traveling in different directions I was unsuccessful. I immediately got on the down escalator to follow him after getting off the one I was on. He was waiting for me at the bottom. I ran to him, sprinting into his arms and hugging him.

This was when I started to think that maybe this wasn’t just a dream. I felt like I was actually hugging him. My body was warm, like I was being held by him. This hug felt just like the hugs he gave me while he was alive. I told myself I was dreaming, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t wake up. I began crying, both in the dream and in real life. I had physical tears running down my face but I couldn’t wake myself to stop. Part of me didn’t want to stop hugging him but, part of me needed to stop myself from the audible crying. As weird as the whole situation was, it got weirder.

I finally woke up and only shared my dream with one of my roommates because it was just so strange. But, today my mom called me wanting to tell me about a dream or a visit she believes she had from my dad a few days after her birthday. Though there was a lot more that happened in hers, things I won’t share because it isn’t mine to share. There was one part that stuck with me. She told me about a part of her visit where both her and my Dad were in an airport. Both of them say goodbye to me and I leave. My Mom was freaking out and very worried for whatever reason. He tells her not to worry, that it will be okay. It is after he tells her this that I return. I run to him, sprinting into his arms and hug him, just like what happened in my own dream.

Maybe the dead don’t visit us in dreams, maybe they do. I’d like to think they do, the coincidence of it all is too much for me to believe otherwise. I think dreams or visits from loved ones help us. It has helped me feel like he is still here. It reminds me he is still watching, still looking out for me, for my family. There is so much peace in that though, so much peace in knowing that he will never leave me alone.

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