6 Words to Artfully Dodge a Woman Who’s Being Nosy
Dodging Questions on a Date Can Seem Difficult — But Is It Really This Easy With These 6 Little Words?
We may be wandering into sophisticated territory here, but here’s what I want to discuss with you today:
Dodging questions that you don’t want to answer on a date.
It’s a great skill to have (especially on a first date), but one that most experts haven’t yet mastered. And that’s because most men aren’t very good at using discretion.
But what exactly do I mean by discretion? Here’s one working definition that should help you understand:
Discretion: The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information. Example: “She knew she could rely on his discretion.”
In other words, discretion means thinking before your speak.
For our purposes, the kind of discretion I want to discuss today is the kind that helps you get out of questions you don’t want to answer.
Seems easy enough, right?
Not at all — but with my tips, it certainly can be.
Why Are Women Nosy in the First Place?
When’s the last time you met a guy and thought, “Hmmm, he seems really nosy.”
Probably never, right? “Nosiness,” in general, is generally associated with women. But why exactly is that?
Well, most women value information, but they also appreciate indiscretion — they want as much information as possible, and they want it now.
On top of that, it’s not very easy to deny women information when they’re looking for it. But it’s not impossible.
And on a date, this becomes a very delicate balance — how do you dodge her questions without outright changing the subject or seeming totally disinterested?
Basically, you have to use your discretion… and you have to do it in a way that maintains your masculinity.
The #1 Reason Gossip Is Inherently “Feminine”
Gossip — or the excessive sharing of information — is an inherently feminine act. So it’s something you want to avoid.
Think about it:
Picture “the boys” around the water cooler… talking about Johnson’s performance review… or discussing what happened to Steve at the company meeting last week… do they seem masculine?
And that’s because gossip detracts from the masculine quality of independence: the “I care about me, and that means you should care about me too” mindset.
For reference, here’s a list of feminine strengths vs. weaknesses:
Strength: Communication; Weakness: Being too talkative.
Strength: Diplomacy; Weakness: Dishonesty.
Strength: Socializing; Weakness: Social dependency.
Compare this to the list of masculine strengths vs. weaknesses:
Strength: Stoicism; Weakness: Keeping things bottled up.
Strength: Direct honesty; Weakness: Being too blunt.
Strength: Independence; Weakness: Egotism.
It’s masculine to be confident, independent, straightforward and a team player. Unfortunately, as a man, you also run the risk of bottling your emotions and saying honest things that you regret.
So when a woman is prying you for more information, how do you avoid being too direct with her?
3 Ways to Dodge a Question You Don’t Want to Answer
On a date (or really, in any scenario with a woman), it’s important to know how to answer a question you don’t necessarily want to respond to too directly.
There are a few ways you can do this — and they all work differently depending on the scenario.
Here are the 3 that work best for me and my clients:
1) Discretion By Default
This one is easy.
Just don’t share information that has been given to you in confidence. Actively choose not to share it.
When you hear phrases like, “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but…” Or…
“You didn’t hear it from me, but…”
It’s a huge red flag that whoever is telling you this is sharing something they shouldn’t. Avoid using these phrases, and if you find yourself wanting to preface a statement with it — maybe you shouldn’t share after all.
So if you find yourself mentally answering one of her questions with a phrase like that, keep your mouth shut. Period.
2) Discretion by Omission
Here’s another technique that works fairly well:
When she asks you something you’d rather not answer, just go caveman on her.
Laugh, or say “hmph” and look lost in thought… hell, you could even grunt!
You could even just change the subject — the best of these transitions involves complimenting her or mentioning something that has to do with herself.
Try things like:
“I like when you wear your hair this way…”
“What’s this new look? You’re buying jewelry or is that a gift?”
Anything to get her mind off of her prying questions, and back on the moment with you.
3) Blunt Discretion
This is the last kind of discretion, and it’s also the most difficult to master.
Just tell her, “It’s not my business to share.”
The reason this is so difficult to master is because a lot of women simply refuse to take this for an answer. And in fact, these words may even tell her, “Hmmm, this must be really important, so I have to know even more about it!!!”
But if you feel confident in your ability to withstand her inquiries, then this is definitely the route to go. Plus, it’s not like you’re lying.
However, there is one more technique you can use to get her mind off of her nosy question… and back onto the date with you.
And as an added bonus, it doesn’t require you to say anything back to her at all:
The Sly Guy’s Secret to Bypassing Her Questions & Turning Things Sexual…
I was on a date with this girl Molly a few weeks ago… and she was grilling me. Hard:
“How much did you make last year?”
“What are your exes like?”
“Can I see a pic of your dad? Is he balding?”
I tried deflecting… but the questions kept coming. I opened my mouth to tell her “I have an early meeting, I think I’m gonna go”… but then it hit me:
I couldn’t use words to distract her… instead, I had to use the “Sly Guy’s Secret”: this discrete, yet powerful touch.
I first discovered it back in college, from one of my older fraternity brothers… we had a lot of mixers with sororities… (and you know how much sorority girls loooove to talk)…
So we used this seemingly “innocent” touch to skip the small talk… & get her straight to the bedroom… without having to answer any silly questions or deal with her objections.
Of course, the “Sly Guy’s Secret” doesn’t work every single time (like if she has a boyfriend)…
Though when I reached over & used it on Molly’s wrist… and she bit her lip a few seconds later… giggled like a little schoolgirl… and leaned into me “because it’s soooo cold outside”…
… I had a good feeling it had done its job. :-)
Here’s how to do it — I think you’re gonna love this: