“ Molested by my best-friend’s father. I am terrified to tell the world the same for two reasons, fear of losing her and fear that the world will judge me negatively” -Gaia Edda.
Life had somewhat turned barren as well as ardent for Gaia Edda. Her blooming love with one Jett Shay was in jeopardy because of inevitable situations leading to existential crisis. Whilst this crisis, came a abominable day when Gaia’s life was completely flustered. Gaia was shredded to pieces and was too petrified to flap it out even to her dearest ones.
Gaia had six palsy-walsy, chummy friends whose friendship was molten thick. One of them was Kacia Fennick, the daughter of one Mr Paige Fennick (hereby shall be referred as Mr. Fennick) who was a very renowned photographic reporter in the movie industry. Kacia was this chunky pint-sized girl with beaming peculiar eyes, crooked nose and dark parched lips, all of it blending with her dusky complexion. Her thick black hair was too overgrown for her size. It was too silky, straight and semi-curled towards the end making her an eye candy for all the guys. She was a perfect little girl, atleast that’s what she assumed. Mr. Fennick was 5'11 and had a semi-wheat complexion who was roughly aged 52 years, a healthy pervert with droopy eyes, flared nose and lips like those of a tortured owl.
12/12/1895 • That one fateful day in Gaia’s life.
It was one dazzling morning in mid December, kind of warm for the nippy season. It was Kacia’s 16th birthday. Birthday treats, such elite affairs! Aren’t they? Eating cake, larking around, presents, surprises, photographs! It was too much fun and frolicsome. All the chummy pals had joined in and had headed for some happy lunching at the Gables Diner and the celebration bash had come to an end with snacking and drinking fancy mock tails with fancy parasol afloat in them at the Threshue Clubber. Later, all of them headed to Kacia’s house to spend some more time with her. Kacia’s mother, Mrs. Fennick was a lean woman in her mid 40's, who was kind to face but foxy by mind and entirely judgmental. Mr. Fennick was supposed to fly home that day for his daughter’s birthday, kacia being a brat of a daddy’s girl was excited to hug and kiss her father on her special day. All of them waited to meet Mr. Fennick, masking his reality by appearing to be the gentleman, everyone had mistaken the preposterous monster, even Gaia.
“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.” -Judith Lewis Herman
For obvious reasons, Mr. Fennick’s flight was delayed by two hours which all of them were uninformed about. Since it was getting dark and cold, all of her party had slowly started to take leave to their respective homes. Being given, Gaia lived far off from kacia’s house and it was impossible for her to travel that night all alone, Gaia had decided to stay at Kacia’s place over night. Gaia had no clue of what she was into and that’s when gruesome things had happened at midnight.
When Mr Fennick had arrived, he was completely drenched in alcohol, reek and vile from hair to toe subsiding the nauseous spirit odor. To everybody’s surprise he had company which the mother and daughter were unaware of. A company of 12 naive idiots followed him into the house who were completely boozed up alike Mr Fennick. Out of the 12, one Mr Maltro Skeptoff was completely wasted and was in no position to steer himself back home, thus leading all the of them to stay at Kacia’s house.
Given the situation at their house, Mrs Fennick had ordered Kacia and Gaia straight up to bed, asking Kacia to be careful and bolt the windows and doors so that no one invades their privacy while tripping on alcohol. Being the teenagers they were, Kacia completely ignored Mrs Fennick’s command and then jumped directly into bed. Both had drifted completely into sound sleep.
“The clock had struck 2'0 in the night. I woke up alarmed around 2'03 when I felt a hand brush against my forehead. I immediately woke up and looked on to my left and to my horror Kacia wasn’t in bed. Aghast, I reached for the switch board to fill in some light. And there he was, standing beside Kacia’s bed on the side where I fell asleep, broadly giving me the lustrous smile. The crooked lustrous smile of hunger for some gruesome action. He slowly moved closer, unaware of his intentions I looked right into his eyes expecting for him to talk. Caressingly, he pulled my cheeks and felt my face in his palm, his hands slowly and sensuously moved towards my throat touching and taking his time to feel me up. Chills all over my spine, arms and hands. I had this sudden urge to run but couldn’t, as I slipped into shock. He then groped me with one hand, calling “Gaia, sweetie” and slipping his hand underneath my throat. Before he could go any further from my throat, I regained my senses and jumped up my heels on the bed and briskly moved to the other end to avoid further contact. By then, I had understood him and what disgusting things where running in his mind. To my surprise, he moved to the other side of the bed where I had gone to escape his clutch. He gravitated over the corner of the bed and tried touching me again, calling me with obscenities and in lieu to goad me. I sprang up on the bed and started moving very rapidly. He couldn’t get hold of me, completely disappointed in himself, he left the room. I was devastated, tears uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks, I flung open the door and began running wildly until I found Kacia. Kacia had gone into the kitchen to bring some food for herself and fetch water for our needs. I was white as a paper, a ghost, a milk whitener. Kacia who understood that something was up started to worry, being troubled by the way I was, she started to ask what was wrong. I denied telling her that I had a bad dream, a nightmare and was just occupied with it. She happened to believe it and then slipped into sleep straightaway. The entire night from then, I couldn’t even shut my eyes of the horror I witnessed and sensed,” shredded Gaia.
Gaia, witnessing such horrors couldn’t confess it to kacia as she loved her and Gaia knew how much Kacia loved her beloved father and more-over Gaia had valued her relation with Kacia more than anything. Days, weeks and months passed by after that one fearsome night. Gaia had countless, erratic nightmares about that night, tears rolling down every time she was in an isolated dark room. A couple of months later, when she could no longer hold her terrorizing nightmares, all she had was Jett Shay, the one person to whom she could rant her heart out. She was walking on a thread in her relationship with Jett. And yet, surpassing her jitters and cold sweat fighting her demons, one night she had opened up about her wildest nightmares to Jett. Jett was completely taken aback by Mr Fennick’s behavior and was filled with rage. Jett was disappointed with Gaia as she stifled herself from avowing such yecch happenings, nevertheless, “Sweetheart, I will be here for you. Always” he said. That is the thing about promises, once you’ve made them you have to keep them. He aided her in soothing the pain by calming her unnerving thoughts.
Gaia’s soul had been tampered with and till this day is being haunted by the past happenings with the reoccurring of such incidents.
“That’s what people do, who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.” — Deb Caletti.
…. Strange words and stranger thoughts. Do you remember the person you were before the world choked you to be someone else? You were so carefree, sprightly and sunny, but now why does it feel like you’re constantly on the brim? Remember the time when you were so candid but now in need of holding your tongue?
You just stand there in fearful silence and abject disbelief at what just happened. You are exhausted and not in the way that you want to lay down and sleep tired. The debility of countless tears, nightmares and heart ache. The exhaustion from fighting and dealing with all of it. Pain is never beautiful.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” — Haruki Murakami
You are entitled to look in the mirror every morning to see yourself, who is though not perfect and isn’t trying to be. You deserve to look past on whatever has happened. You require to go through your day and take in the good parts even the tiniest of ones which go unnoticed. You deserve to know that moments of weakness from your past do not make you fundamentally weak, only radically human. You deserve not to beat or loath your body, your personality or your entire self of your previous experiences, it wasn’t your fault. You must not hold yourself guilty. You deserve to live through all of your emotions. Within the realm of possibility, you are entitled to know that you are okay.