The thing about the Kobayashi Maru

“The thing about the Kobayashi Maru is,” says Jim, “you have to remember it’s a simulation.”

“Everybody knows that, Jim”, Bones shoots back.

The medbay is dimly lit, the liquor is out. Typical end of shift.

“Everybody knows that, sure, but nobody really ponders the implications, do they? It’s a scenario. It was designed.”

“Same as any simulation Starfleet will put you through. What’s your point here?”

“My point is, why do officers have to go through the Kobayashi Maru, Bones? What does Starfleet expect?”

“Starfleet expects future captains to know that no win scenarios exist, that you have to make sacrifices sometimes, and plan accordingly. They even tell you so.”

“That’s my point. The Kobayashi Maru scenario is a scenario, as the name implies. It’s a series of carefully placed hoops you have to jump through so you get your reward. A series of hoops that tells you sometimes you have to sacrifice people.”

“Or yourself…”

“Does it tell you that, Bones? Really? Here’s a statement from the official description of the Kobayashi Maru scenario, I can quote it by heart : “The approaching cadet crew must decide whether to attempt rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew — endangering their own ship and lives — or leave the Kobayashi Maru to certain destruction. If the cadet chooses to attempt rescue, the simulation is designed to guarantee that the cadet’s ship enters a situation that they will have absolutely no chance of winning, escaping, negotiating or even surviving.” — The no win scenario really begins once you decide to rescue people, Bones. And sure, the no win scenario is there for you to endure, and you won’t be punished for failing to rescue the Maru. But there is a painless way to win: leaving the Kobayashi Maru to die, first thing.”

A moment passes as Bones stares at his drink.

“Okay, I get your point. It’s grim. But commanding a starship is hard work, and sometimes you have to face the music, Jim. Sometimes you just can’t save everybody.”

Jim smiles.

“It’s not even that. The No-win scenario kicks in as soon as you decide to save anybody. It’s not something that could happen, based on your previous decisions during the simulation. It’s a punishment for even trying to save the ship.”

“So?”

“So they tell you it’s about accepting a no win situation, facing the music and grace under the ultimate pressure, but people do pass the test by letting the Kobayashi Maru to its fate. It’s a legitimate solution.”

“Sure, but…”

“AND,” Kirk interrupts, “it’s a simulation, remember? They didn’t take a real civilian ship attack from the archives and put the parameters in. They designed the whole situation from the ground up, with the explicit goal to provide future starship captains with the knowledge that there are situations in which you should let the civilians die, lest your whole ship is lost. It’s conditioning, pure and simple.”

“That kind of situations happen, Jim”

Kirk takes a sip.

“Do they, Bones? We’ve been at this for three years. Tell me bones, how many times have we faced a real no-win situation? A certain death in face of helping people? I write the logs, Bones. The answer is never. Not once. Sure, we lost feathers, and couldn’t always save everybody. But each time we made it, Bones, and each time, we saved people. The only reason the Maru is a no-win situation is because someone decided it should be. To make a point.”

Bones smiles and takes a sip. “You’ve got me, Jim. I’m all ears, what’s the real point of the Kobayashi Maru?”

He expects a triumphant James Tiberius Kirk inflicting his point, courtroom style. Instead, a grim expression falls upon the captain’s face.

“You know about my teenage years, Bones, everybody does. Even if they never raise the subject around me.”

“The famine of Tarsus IV.”

Jim nods.

“After weeks and weeks of despair, our colony leader, Kodos, decided to kill half the colony, allegedly to spare the other half. A few days after the execution, the emergency relief fleet arrived. People still debate to this day whether Kodos did the right thing, you know? Like it’s some kind of conversation starter. Some say that Kodos couldn’t have known, that he tried everything.”

“In a way, he did.”

“Did he?”

Another pause.

“Really, Bones: did he? I was there, Bones. I lived through the ordeal. I saw his public announcement to his own people. I saw the relief on his face once he was done. He didn’t try to find a solution to the famine, Bones. He just found the quickest way through it, consequences be damned.”

“From his point of view, maybe it was a humane thing to do, Jim.”

Kirk shoots back without even looking at his friend.

“How is it humane to murder the people you’ve been mandated to take care of, Bones? What point of view makes it okay?”

Bones stays silent.

“He didn’t make a hard choice, Bones. He didn’t solve any dilemma. He gave up on his people. That’s as simple as that. But there’s enough people out there thinking you don’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, right? Here’s the thing with people like Kodos: they never break their own eggs. They always break everybody else’s. It’s all just excuses.”

Bones waited a few moments more, then

“So, the Kobayashi Maru?”

“The Kobayashi Maru. Whatever the good people at Starfleet tell you, the Maru isn’t about accepting fate. It’s about putting starfleet first. Nobody will tell it like it is, but it’s how it works. Try to save civilians, you lose. Sure, those civilians are in a disputed sector, surrounded by several warships from a major political presence in the quadrant, while your ship is clearly insufficient for this kind of intervention.”

“I was going to say.”

“But it’s on purpose! It was designed that way! It was designed so that the moment you give one damn, one single damn about the civilian ship, you lose. Well — you don’t actually lose, but what maxim will you get out of it? “A civilian ship isn’t worth losing a starfleet vessel or messing up a complex spatio political situation.” And you know what? It makes it okay to decide not to try it. To forfeit our first responsibility towards civilians. Eventually, this makes Kodoses out of all of us. I call that bullshit.”

“I can see why you would. Is that why you cheated?”

Kirk smiles a courtroom smile again.

“I cheated so I got caught.”

Bones bursts into laughter. “You never told me that!”

“Never told anyone. But I wanted to present my case in front of the authority.”

“And your case was?”

“The Kobayashi Maru isn’t a simulation. It’s propaganda in video game form, and it’s conveying a way of doing things that shouldn’t be part of Starfleet, whether it was intended to by its designers or not.”

“How did that go?”

Kirk takes a sip.

“All these years and they didn’t change anything to the Maru, did they?”

“Indeed, they didn’t. And you still made it to captain.”

“I sure did. So what does that tell you?”

“They couldn’t prove you wrong, but would never admit it officially.”

“And here I am.”

“Here you are.”

Both finish their drinks.

“This attitude of yours, Jim — it’s going to come back around and bite you in the ass, you know that?”

“If there’s any justice in this galaxy? I sure hope so.”