Paper Hearts and Pharisees

Hannah Holmes
Aug 9, 2017 · 3 min read

When I was five or six, I used to make these paper hearts. I made them for family, for friends, for myself… and, at Christmas time, I made several of them for Jesus, as birthday presents to hang on our Christmas tree. As ridiculous and meaningless as they seem now, and as much as my adult heart wants to scoff at them, those paper hearts were made with genuine love and a desire to honor God. What gift could I ever give Him that would be impressive, that would carry great meaning for the creator of the world? In a way, when I think my obedient actions now carry more weight than those paper hearts, I think they are in danger of mattering less, because that is when I have the pride to believe that I am actually impressive to God. I think it would do my soul good to remember that every act of worship or service is really just another paper heart, and to try and capture that wonder and adoration in everything that I do.

Not that I don’t think we should grow and mature to make more meaningful paper hearts as we grow older. The danger for me, though, is that sometimes this desire is motivated by my longing to be more impressive, to please more people, to feel good enough. It is not often enough motivated by my desire to honor God with my whole life, to walk in accordance with His perfect will, and to worship His holiness and love.

Reading about the Pharisees always humbles me. I’m shocked by their anger and violence, and amazed that they could so completely overlook the fulfillment of every promise they were holding onto. But being a Pharisee is what I slide into when I’m feeling complacent and apathetic, because I cling to the things I think I know. Because I like control. Because I don’t always want Jesus to show up in ways that I can’t understand, ways that will make me feel silly, or totally discount some ideal I’ve clung to.

Because rules are always more comfortable than a living Spirit, and being impressive feels preferable to making paper hearts.

But Jesus isn’t concerned with my ideals, my control, my security, or my appearances. In fact, He wants to upset all of that. His concern is for His people and His kingdom- and there is nothing more upsetting to my culture’s ideals and values than a kingdom where the first are the last and the least are the greatest.

Rules give me a sense of control. They let me know where I stand for certain- and where others stand. Rules create a hierarchy of comparison and competition. The problem with rules is that they have nothing to do with grace or love. I don’t believe you can build the kind of kingdom Jesus taught with just rules.

This scares me, though, because holiness is important to me, and I’m afraid releasing control and letting go of some of the rules will equate to losing it’s pursuit. Maybe some of the Pharisees were afraid of this, too. Surrounded by their rules, they lost sight of the heart of God, and Jesus’s very authority frightened them. Because His own teaching came from the deep well of His relationship with His Father.

“Those who live according to the flesh have their mind set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.” Romans 8:5

This week, I don’t need another to-do list or master plan. I don’t any more sets of rules and expectations that I’ve made up for myself. I need the breath and living presence of the Holy Spirit. I need to draw my authority and courage from my relationship with my Father. I need to walk in the footsteps of Jesus’s life of love, holiness, and servanthood. I need to make paper hearts with my life.

Hannah Holmes

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