New Beginnings (Day 79…)
The thing about starting over that people get stuck on is the uncertainty. We never know what is going to happen and leaving the comfort (healthy, flawed or otherwise) of our previous situations specifically in favour of uncertainty is really really hard.
I’ve been contemplating new beginnings a lot this year as it seems whether or not I had planned for them or saw them on the horizon, life decided I needed a change and moved new beginnings toward me unapologetically. Many times it has felt hard to catch my breath due to the rapidness of the changes coming my way.
Typically, I love new beginnings. Not to boast but I’m really good at them too. All of us with travelling hearts love seeking new experiences, people and places. Not all of them work out — and those which don’t tend to teach us the most about ourselves and require us to grow faster than we knew we were able. We actively seek out new homes, friends and family and whether our experience is short or extended those fundamental elements of a place are seared into our hearts. With experiences so rich and wonderful how could you not want to do it all over again?
The struggle I’ve had with my new beginnings of late is that I haven’t felt like an active participant in the process leading me to those choices. The road which will be taking out my property is case in point.
I did not choose for the government to build a road. But they have decided to and now I’m left to deal with the decision I cannot control by managing the choices I make in its wake. Apart from the negative reprecussions of this process it has also given me an opportunity to evaluate both myself and my business. Who am I if I don’t have HJC?
When pushed in the early days (as lawyers and accountants are supposed to do) to either fold or fight, I realized how much I believed in what HJC was doing for the community and how much their passion for this place (in addition to my own) drives me to press on. Does it matter if HJC can no longer be housed in a place we have become accustomed to? What if the sacrifice for HJC continuing is for us all to find a new beginning together? What if the sacrifice doesn’t allow HJC to continue at all?
My family and I started this place together but ultimately alone. We aren’t alone anymore. Throughout the years we have collected all of you — my most wonderful friends and clients and togehter we have grown and evolved. Imagine a place we could start together, where together your input and ideas could combine with mine and we can witness them actualized.
I am not in the least bit scared of this new beginning.
I am not scared of saying goodbye to a period of time so rich and full of love and experience — because you cannot remove the footprint love leaves on a heart. Sometimes you out grow things. Sometimes you need a blank canvas to move toward the next phase of your experience. Rarely are you ever ready for the lessons life lobs at you.
Travel taught me that and I’m so glad it did, because I’m not scared.
Bring on the new beginning which allows even more of our dreams (whether we are ready for them or not) to come true.
Should it come to a time where HJC cannot continue on in a physical form, carry our footprint on with you as I will carry yours with me. We shouldn’t be scared of new beginnings because on the other side of the stress and heartache we will inevitably grow into new experiences, relationships and places — we will be better because of our time together.
I’m not minimizing what we have to lose in losing HJC.
But instead of being scared I’m going to try really hard to look at this as an adventure. We are travelling a road and we have no idea where it is going to lead, that is both the beauty and the hardship —and look at all we stand to learn and gain. Together let’s try not to focus on what we are leaving behind but on the road ahead — let’s go on an adventure!
Wanna come?
