Show Don’t Tell
Can you read your date? Here are tips
The science of hair gestures goes deeper than just having a sexy ‘do for your date. These are the moves that show him you’re interested — or not.
Every woman has her own date-night hair ritual. Perhaps it is a luxurious home wash and deep condition, or maybe a professional blowout is in order — something to give you that extra edge of confidence. Gorgeous hair is bewitching and it makes your time together feel sexier and more special.
But once you get your style right, is it okay to leave the house and forget about your hair altogether? World-renowned behavioralist Joe Navarro, formerly of the FBI, says that may not be the wisest approach. How you touch, twist and tousle your hair when you’re interacting with someone intimately actually contains subtle (or not so subtle) messages. “Hair is about aesthetics, grooming, good health and about being attractive but it does not stop there,” says Navarro. “Confident individuals communicate powerfully through an unspoken language.”
As it turns out, there is an entire “hair language” based on the moves you make with your mane. For example, moving your hair away from your ear when you greet your date is an unveiling gesture that exposes the face saying, “Hello handsome.” Later on, when you’re seated at dinner and he’s engaging you in a story about his day, you might stare directly at him and gently brush your hair behind your ears. That lets him know you find him interesting.
If things go really well, you might eventually try a hair gesture that says, “Want you.” Gently pull your fingers through your hair, across your shoulders. “You’re multiplying the feelings in your hands as though you were touching someone,” says Navarro. “He’ll feel that subconsciously.” If it goes the other way and he puts you off, feel free to flip your hair dramatically, as though you are ridding yourself of something. That gesture says, “Get lost.”
“Through the nonverbals you are declaring that you are not timid, and more importantly, not scared,” says Navarro. “This is a powerful message.” Of course, if your hair is dry and brittle, you’re not going to want to touch it at all. The key to smooth, strong hair gestures is healthy, nourished hair with a silken touch. Proper hair care is essential, but maybe not for the reason you thought. “It is not just about looking sexy or alluring,” says Navarro. “It is also about freedom of expression.”
