The numbers game can get so depressing. And it definitely reveals our worst side as humans. I was just talking to a colleague about the rush of checking your stats and seeing the number tick up or the excitement that comes immediately when I open Instagram and see the little orange notification that someone has liked a photo, or even better followed me. Using this recognition from others as validation for the self can’t be healthy and I’m sure most of us do it in our own different ways. Watching the stats tick up feels good in the moment, but it’s like junk food. It’s not nourishing, it doesn’t really ever fill you up. When you have those genuine interactions you are craving, they feel so much better than the non-committal like or recommend which costs nothing more than a click of a button or a tap of a finger.
I admit I do try to “play the game” making a point to read and search, and follow, and recommend, looking for inspiration, looking for people with different interesting perspectives, different styles because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how else to engage with the platform, but follow the much touted obligations of being a good “community” member. That said, I have a rule for myself on Medium and Instagram that I never recommend anything I didn’t enjoy, follow anyone who doesn’t have work that interests me, or leave inane pointless comments just to get on someone’s radar.
If we are willing to put the time into it, Medium could be that online writers support group it hopes to be with real comments and feedback that help you grow as a writer and expand — and it would be great. But it starts with us trusting each other that we aren’t just commenting to get noticed, that we don’t just follow to get a follow-back. It requires putting in the time to thoughtfully respond to each other. Without a more specific organizing structure, creating this dynamic and trust between a disparate group of total strangers is really hard. At the end of that day, I think that’s why many of us just play the game, because we hope that maybe we will stumble upon that genuine interaction that makes it all worth it. Because we don’t know what else to do.
