Nadine

In which an unlikely friend leaves quite the impact.

I once had the discountenance of knowing a girl named Nadine. She sat in front of me in tenth grade Spanish and she stood for everything that I had so adamantly resented. While I held firm to my conservative beliefs and morals, Nadine was much more of a bleeding-heart liberal. We shouldn’t have been friends but for some reason unbeknownst to me, Nadine was one of my closest companions.

When I entered high school, I was very closed minded. I stood firmly behind my beliefs and no matter how much reason an opposing argument had behind it, my opinion couldn’t be swayed. My religion had a strong authority over the way I viewed the world. Those who didn’t express the same views as my church were looked down upon. I was told what to think of people who were different from me and I blindly followed. Even though I was never really vocal about my opinions, I had friends who were. They would openly harass those they deemed unworthy and even though I knew it was wrong, I never spoke up. I was self-righteous but even worse, I was never quite content with myself.

Nadine was nothing less then a stable vexation to me during our first encounter. She was so willing to share her beliefs and she did it in such a way that her views seemed glorious, even to me. She spoke of how much she loved her brother’s new boyfriend in the most casual manner. She rambled on about how she was in favor of science over religion. The most curious part of our encounter was the fact that I never once took offense to her. It was as though she was so sure of her beliefs that she didn’t need to be abrasive. She didn’t need to prove anything. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder how she became so sure of her morals. How could someone have such unwavering confidence in their beliefs?

It wasn’t very long before I learned exactly how someone could be so sure of their beliefs. Nadine had seen the worst in the world for most of her life. From a mother that just wasn’t ready to raise a child, to a man that took the innocence of a girl far too young. The type of life that would break most people only helped build Nadine up. Somehow she still managed to find the good in people, something I will always envy about her. She held firm to her beliefs because it was one of the few constant things in her life. Very few good things happened to her and the elation she found in being able to have her own morals was enough for her. It was because of that that she stood apart from the other hardship stories I had heard over the years.

It was then apparent to me that living a life where all you do is look down on others was not a life I wanted to live. Dwelling on others decisions rather than worrying about your own led to no progression. My change of heart certainly wasn’t over night and it didn’t end with Nadine. I spent quite a lot of time figuring out who I was and what made me happy. I will probably never be quite as confident in my beliefs as Nadine was, but if I’m content with who I am, that is good enough for me. Because when it comes to opinions, there is no wrong or right.

I once had the absolute pleasure of knowing a girl named Nadine. I don’t see her anymore as she left quite suddenly sometime last year. I am sad in losing one of my best friends but I have to believe that wherever she may be, she can finally find her peace. Her influence is something I won’t easily forget. I never once believed that my opinions changed because I felt sorry for her. No, I believe that Nadine was able to change me because she showed me the world through a new pair of eyes. She showed me that the world isn’t simply black and white, right or wrong. The world is a big place and we have the luxury to choose how we see it.