The rules for British football media and Top Foreign Managers

  1. While all posts at big six clubs are filled and all clubs, fans, managers etc are happy — write an opinion piece about why it’s a shame that more British managers aren’t given a chance “at the highest level”.
  2. When a job becomes available — start touting whoever the Top Foreign Manager flavour of the month is.
  3. When they are appointed — make no attempt to hide your crush. They are quite brilliant, after all, and who knew they were quite so witty?
  4. Remember, clubs outside the top six appointing a foreign manager are doing a disservice to British football.
  5. Likewise, fans outside the top six wanting a Top Foreign Manager are unrealistic and should be happy with a Pardew, Allardyce, Pulis, Warnock, Hughes, Bruce, Pearson, Redknapp etc.
  6. Once one of the above British managers are appointed by a non top six side and they underperform — argue that they should be given more time. Again, describe fans longing for more exciting, more productive football as unrealistic.
  7. Fan arguing the underwhelming British manager they never wanted is underperforming — can be described as fickle.
  8. The Top Foreign Manager you championed and whose wit and wisdom your regularly praised — you can describe as “under pressure” after a short run of disappointing results. At this point your can start listing replacement Top Foreign Managers. This is NOT fickle.
  9. Top Foreign Managers should never be given time to get it right.
  10. Just as Top Foreign Managers on the up are alluring and charismatic. Foreign coaches under pressure are brooding bullies. You can use the same characteristics as examples of brilliance or failings depending on their team’s current form.
  11. Fans of clubs that regularly win titles “deserve more” when it comes to management performance. This argument can be used to undermine a Top Foreign Manager. Fans who loyally support regular under-performers deserve nothing. This can be used as a reason to back British managers.
  12. Once the Top Foreign Manager is sacked, remember YOU never rated them. Write that opinion piece.
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