Too much or not enough? Racially socializing my Black daughter
Sandra (Chap)Chapman

I’m Not Letting My Daughter Play With THAT Color Doll! EWEEEE

“Every time she reached for a doll that did not resemble her skin tone, I made a frustrating groan and comment about the impact of her choices. At twelve ..she mimicked me by moving boxes of peach-skinned dolls to the back in order to bring the brown-skinned dolls to the front.”

One Christmas one of my daughter had requested nothing baby dolls from everyone and that is what she got. Several different baby dolls. Some drank from little plastic bottles, some wet their diapers, some cried ‘momma’..but she had requested one special doll. A doll that ate baby food and poo’d, a Baby Alive. Christmas morning came and as my other three daughters opened their various toys she opened one baby doll after the other squealing with delight. One had it’s own teddy bear, one had a pacifier and it really sucked it! Then the Baby Alive. My grandmother had gotten her this gift and I know her so I know it was a mistake. It was a dark skinned baby. My daughter’s squeal of delight hit a new high. “She’s so beautiful!” she exclaimed as she hugged her. She loved and played with all of her dolls but her Baby Alive was the longest and best loved of them all and last to be put away as no longer played with. When she exclaimed that morning at the dolls beauty I have no idea if it was because of the color of the doll, because of the type of doll she was or some of reason. I only knew that she saw beauty, she was happy and I saw no reason to break it down, grumble, insist she play with a doll of any color. After that Christmas and until she grew out of playing with baby dolls she preferred and would specifically ask for dark skinned dolls.

I don’t see what you described as socializing but more as radicalizing your child to feel that the world is against her and must fight back against everyone and be filled with anger and hate. That is not the same as self love and a good self-esteem.