Why Am I So Fat?
Sara Benincasa

Hello Sara! I am not nameless, I am Mark Bell and I just turned 59 last Wednesday. You can still think of me as being 58 if you like but with an extra few days of experience at it. My question is “Why are you so young?” Dang! You’re stunning but why cant you do anything about your age? See above and try like I did. Something, please. You got 5 years older during these last 5 years but that isn’t good enough for me. Please do something about it as I only heard about you for the first time 10 minutes ago and now what you do is somehow more important to me now than it is to you and oh dang, Mom just yelled down at me that lunch is ready. Better not be another fucking Kale sandwich!

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