Into the woods
“I’m engaged!!” A superstar employee and I had been discussing this probability for the last couple of months. They had suspected it would happen over their recent vacation. Sure enough, when I pulled them into a conference room this morning, they burst with joy. I listened as they retold the story and I could feel them move and shift through a multitude of emotions. I had seen this employee through the interview and on-boarding process. They have taken on more and more responsibility and proven themselves to be an employee that others look up to. I have used them as a template for new hires as a way to excel within the company.
This employee makes me happy. I am not just happy because they are happy, I am happy because this employee does so well in so many areas. They are somewhat shy with others and take time to warm up in general. However, with me, they have always been authentic, shared openly on a vast amount of topics, and very enthusiastic. How could I resist such a person? Obviously, I thought they would do well in the position and overall in the company. But, if I am to be 100% honest in this process, which I seek to do, there is more than that.
We connect. We just do. It is easy and enjoyable. There are no struggles or force fields to contend with in our interactions. I look forward to conversations with this employee in a different way than I do others. What does this mean exactly? How do I reconcile my personal favoritism with how I approach this and the other employees? Time to check my premises.
I have always taken great care to balance with employees. I space everything out and mix and match the who and why I engage. I work hard to be consistent in tone, speech patterns, information, and overall openness. Of course, this is just my perception. Who knows what slips through the cracks both consciously and unconsciously? Still, even if nothing leaked, I still know how I feel.
In the middle of processing all of this, another employee (they are a newer hire) contacts me and asks about setting up an after-work get-together for all employees in the near future. Come on!!! Really? This is awesome news and provides me with another data point that this thing I am trying to do in the company is having an impact. This is the first time a company gathering has been suggested by an employee. But that isn’t all…
I come to a few realizations as pieces fall into place. 1) This employee has been picked by three others as someone they all want to get to know. 2) This employee is doing exceedingly well for how new they are in both the work and connecting with others. 3) I had helped strategically seat this newest rising-star employee next to newly engaged employee. 4) This employee is quickly becoming another favorite of mine.
Yeah, it is no doubt time for some truth serum.
I don’t know what to do yet in regards to action steps. However, I do know there will be no hiding from myself that this is occurring. It is natural for some individuals to get along more or less than others. Having preferences is part of what it means to be human but I want to zero-in on what preferences I am responding to in these interactions. I could move right along and proclaim it is all about authenticity and connection and be done. But that doesn’t do anything but reinforce my own bias, even if I think it is a good one to have, there are systemic repercussions that must be considered.
Into the woods to figure this out …*
…* the engaged employee loves musicals.
