I understand and do respect your view on this, but to be honest, I’m never going to find someone as capable of loving as I am. :/ I’m as likely to find that as I am to win the lottery. I’m okay with a disparity and I think it should be my decision if I’m okay with it or not.

Please don’t see that as me attacking your view point, far from it, I appreciate you and your words SO much!

But if you had any idea how many times I’ve been told something like “You are perfect and deserve someone who can feel about you the way you feel about me” (actual quote), you’d want to throw up immediately. Me being a “great guy” has ended a huge amount of my relationships.

The thing is, I was happy. Very happy. Now I’m not. The solution, from her perspective, was to take a potential unhappiness and replace it with a sharp and definite unhappiness. No matter what happens in my future, what kind of wonderful woman I might meet, part of me is still going to want her.

I have to wonder how much happier I’d be if I was more of an asshole, loved less, and was more selfish.