(P.S. You were warned :p )
Hi, Sean :)
I’ve been less than organized, lately, but I kept this open in a tab so I would not forget.
I just “celebrated” my 9th “anniversary” at my current job.
By “celebrate” I mean to regret and by “anniversary” I mean why the fuck should I ascribe a word normally reserved for a life event to another goddamn year at a job I hate?
I used to say “fuck reality” or a close enough approximation. I used to be wild, bordering on criminal. I didn’t have to care beyond some basic boundaries. Free, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes angry, but always me.
Somewhere along the way Reality fucked me.
Not long ago I told someone that reality was for cowards. Shortly after that, reality, the very thing I claimed had no power over me and was for cowards, fucked me hard.
What I’ve discovered is that you can say fuck reality with impunity as long as you don’t share your reality with someone else first. The moment you do, it’s all about who says fuck reality first, thereby metaphorically prison fucking the other person and taking every bit of control from them and enforcing your reality fucking on them without their consent.
So my take away from finally learning my lesson is that it’s fine to show glimpses of your reality to someone else, but never ever share it with them and never accidentally start sharing someone else’s. So, yeah, never again.
It’s a lesson I wish I’d learned years ago. Better late than never, though.
[Okay, that’s where I left off previously, thinking, “man, I’m getting my negative all up in his peanut butter… er... I mean Positivity… coming back, I decided I had more to write, so here goes…]
I’m looking forward to the experiences of my new free to say fuck reality reality. I’m already taking advantage of it. I’ve started to write some things I never would have had to balls to share before.
It extends far from writing, as well. I had a bit of a life changing moment Sunday night/Monday morning. It was amazing. I’ll write about it in my typical fashion, poetry. If you see something of mine mentioning a power outage, you’ll know that’s it. :p
Shazam! Now I just have to keep the momentum going.