Beaver Cleaver Didn’t Eat His Tomato
emerald jane waters👗

While I’m not particularly fond of tomatoes, unless they’ve been sun-dried and stored in olive oil, or turned into sauce :p, I love… lovelovelove fresh whole fruit in general. Give me a nectarine that’s still firm and crunchy and I will bite the shit out of it, skin and all. So good.

Oranges? Yes, please. Tangerines are stupidly easy to peel, but even the pithier (couldn’t resist) navel oranges peel pretty easy... I have a trick (not mine, so you might already be familiar with it) where you peel off just the top and bottom, then slice (with a spoon, fingernail, toenail, uncoiled paper clip, the tab from a pop can, the stem on a bic pen cap, heat vision) once from top to bottom, then just open it up. It looks like a weird caterpillar. I used to do that for my nieces and nephews and they got such a kick out of it.

Plus, how cool is it to strike a lighter and then bend the orange peel to spray the citrus oil and watch it fireball. Not necessarily saying that’s a selling point for kids, unless you’re of the “screw them eyebrows!” camp, but it’s a definite attention-getter.

Another favorite is granny smith apples, big green crunchy and sour! I used to get sick from eating them as a kid… more due to eating three of them in a sitting :p But I looooove them.

I feel a little bad for kids these days. When my sister and I were kids, we’d go pick wild blackberries, plums, and maypops (the fruit of a species of passionflower). So good it’s ridiculous… and wild… and FREE! :p We did get shot at, once, for picking some not-as-wild-as-we-thought strawberries. It turned out to be a great aunt we’d never met before and she’d had trouble with some people tearing her gardening up for some idiotic reason I can’t recall now. Also it was rock-salt loaded shells. That shit hurts, but it’s better than buckshot. :)

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