What they don’t tell you

It has been a while since I wrote anything.

I won’t deny that it is primarily because I have not been motivated to a) do anything b) write anything.

My last post was about my injury, an injury that broke my heart and tore it to pieces. It was my second year trying to finish what I started, cross the finish line of a full distance IronMan. The first year was halted because of a broken ankle as I tumbled down a mountain in Nepal and the second was a broken foot as I ran and tripped on a step.

Needless to say, my faith in this whole IronMan thing was slowly fading.

During that time, I can safely say I tried everything. I tried changing bikes, coaches, races. I did everything the books said to do, but something just wasn’t clicking. I did not really know what it was. Something was missing.

And that is when it hit me… a whole year later — having gained about 9kgs, lost all my muscle, gotten into the worst shape I have known myself to ever be in… motivation has nothing to do with any external factor. You can try to change the settings all you want, but if something isn’t driving you on the inside, nothing will work.

You need to know WHY you are doing what you are doing, why your dream is what it is. Is it really your dream, do you feel it within you? Is it just something you got used to striving for, or is it truly driving you today.

I wasn’t sure about mine. I wasn’t sure about my motivations. I wasn’t sure why I even started. I was THIS close to giving up so many times… but somehow something inside me just clicked… just like that… I was just tired, exhausted, scared but the desire never faltered and the dream never changed.

Today’s world is so full of motivational quotes.

Motivational speakers.

People telling you to just get on with it, just do it. Just ‘man/woman up’!

That it is as simple as that. That if you put your mind to it, you’ll find the drive and motivation to do it.

What people don’t tell you is that motivation comes from a mental and emotional place that has already decided that it wants it.

You have already decided that you want something, and the rest is just steps, actions, daily habits.

What they don’t tell you, is that if you are not in a good place emotionally, if you are tired mentally, if you are stressed financially, if you are overwhelmed, no words or motivational quotes or speakers will move you.

So, to everyone struggling with motivation, or afraid of doing something big/ crazy/ scary… its ok.

Just take a step back, relax, take a break, find your balance again and when you’re ready, TRULY ready, the world will find a way to conspire to make it all fall into place.

So, here I am, a year later, giving it another shot. But this time, if something breaks, I’m changing to another sport! At least for a while!

Written by

Mother of 2, Social Entrepreneur, Triathlete. Jordanian, living in Dubai.

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