I recently made an one year anniversary of me at my coffeeshop. What a wonderful, bittersweet feeling.
I am just realizing how hard it is now to "break out." It's been a little less then a year since I finished school. Insane to think that a year ago, I was still struggling and stressing to finish school, and a year later, I am depressed because I can't find any priorities in life. This should be easy, I was looking forward to this. I was looking to celebratory days, moments of solitude. But for the last year, I haven't done jack with my life.
Too many thoughts surround my head at the moment. I worry about my future more then I should. My life is a mess.
At twenty, I thought I would be somebody. Now, at the verge of twenty-three, I can't help but just reminisce at what could've been.
It hurts to know that some of my friends are starting their career, or are already deep into it, and here I am lolly-dallying around.
Making a name for yourself is hard in this town. I have such a hard time. Eight million people live in this city, all trying to make it. It's tough. I'm losing hope. I'm struggling to find a purpose.
I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I've been doing nothing. I wake up before the sun rises, and I go to bed after the sun sets.
I don't know how many more days, weeks, months I can go. It's hard. People are moving forward in life, and mine is staying constant. I need change. I need options.
I realize that my thoughts so far in the last previous entries have been somewhat sad, depressing, and ultimately, lackluster. But I can't fathom my ideas. My blog is a representation of my thoughts at the current time, and this is how I feel at this current time.
On the flip side, I didn't think I would love blogging as much as I did. I just don't do it enough. That's all.