My life isn’t easy.
For the better part of a year, I’ve been dealing with symptoms of what I believe to be anxiety-filled and ridden depression. My day to day life consists of lots of time spent thinking, and lustful amounts of thoughts surrounding my head. Maybe I’m dealing with a quarter life crisis, but I can’t help but fathom that it might be something more then that, or serious.
Where does one go to find their true passion and reason for living? I have been in a rut lately, because I know that no amount of people will make me happy. No amount of money will make me money. Nothing can.
Days stretch onto weeks and weeks into months. Months into years, and finally, before you know it, your a year out of high school, and finally, your whole career flashes into your eyes.
My first foray into blogging started when I was in high school. I remember a small spiral bounded journal I used to keep track of and jot down my thoughts surrounding the high school experience. I wrote to no one, and titled every entry, “Dear Diary.” Needless to say, it wasn’t good, and wasn’t long before I actually decided I didn’t like it, and quit. I wanted every entry to be great, and good. Something that might be published in the newspaper, articles filled with excitement like Anne Frank’s. I found it difficult to be positive.
In college, I started a couple blogs. I wrote a few using the viewpoint of a character through novels we read. It was fiction-based, imaginary and for a grade. It wasn’t fun, easy, but seeing as it was necessary, I did it. Blogging in this sense was odd, I found it hard to keep a steady rhythm.
My blog now, here on medium, isn’t what I thought it would be, nine months into this blogging experience. Not proud of some of my entries, don’t understand the others, and I write just for me, for fun, on my own time. But I like it like this. It’s refreshing, gives meaningful information to my readers. Sometimes I look back and I remember the setting, the time, where I was when I wrote that, how I was feeling. Other times, I can’t imagine I even wrote that.
My goal is to continue and make a year. Be ready for more weird, quirky, articles and thoughts from me.
Thanks for tuning in.